You know it’s time to consider dual citizenship when:
· Two rival pizza chains decide to get into a Twitter beef over whether the NFL is bad for business or not.
· When you find out the likeliest reason Papa John’s founder John Schnatter decided to complain that freedom of expression is killing the NFL is because Jerry Jones owns a huge chunk of the company.
· When the fan base of a team that lost its 63rd game on November 1 is getting Twitter slag from the fan base of a team that lost its 63rd game on July 24.
· When the head coach of a team that just made its most significant trade in years suggests the significant player the team traded for might not play until next year.
· But still has him listed as active for Sunday’s game.
· When a World Series victory sparks a proposal and a firm wedding date, meaning that Charlie Morton and George Springer are better than Match.com.
· When we spend time trying to figure out how Ezekiel Elliott can still be suspended from playing football but not by the NFL, so that nobody wins.
· When this headline appears on a credible web site: “The Magic Are The New Warriors.”
· When Brian Hoyer is cut by the second-worst team in football on a Monday and has a massive promotion waiting for him from the best team in football the next day.
· When the NFL decides that a 45-game suspension has cured Josh Gordon, but a lifetime ban for Colin Kaepernick is insufficient.
· When people still think Kaepernick is going to be signed by any team for any but the most cynical lawsuit-negating reasons.
· When the smartest people in football have decided to make their long-term plans contingent on a human being never aging.
· When two teams trying to decide to trade two draft choices for a backup quarterback can’t understand E-mail.
· When the backup quarterback is suddenly the most coveted player in the market.
· When “bullpenning” is considered a word.
· When a Warrior (okay, Shaun Livingston) calls this the team’s hardest season eight games into it.
· When the Philadelphia 76ers have a .500 record other than 0-0 for the first time in 206 weeks.
· And finally, when the Republican tax plan invokes Stephen Curry to distinguish him and his salary from a mythical bike shop owner – because there is no greater Bolshevik in this country than Stephen Curry.