NFL Power Rankings: 49ers not in the 30s; tragedy strikes Raiders
From 32 to 1...
There is just one week left in the regular season...
32) Los Angeles (4-10)
Firing Jeff Fisher apparently wasn’t rock bottom. Losing to the 49ers has to be.
31) San Diego (5-10)
You lose to the Browns, you go to the back of the line. Fit Mike McCoy for a dunce cap. Or fire him on the tarmac. Whatever works.
30) Cleveland (1-14)
Browns won a game. Joe Thomas said ‘that was our Super Bowl.’ The 2008 Detriot Lions are poppin’ bottles.
29) 49ers (2-13)
Jed York will spend his offseason lobbying to play the Rams every week.
28) N.Y. Jets (4-11)
Todd Bowles had kidney stones this week. Had to be less painful than watching Gann Green play the Patriots.
27) Chicago (3-12)
Matt Barkley threw five interceptions against the Washington football club. Proves somebody can catch his passes.
26) Jacksonville (3-12)
Two games before a season mercifully ends, Blake Bortles remembered how to play football. Had amnesia the last 14 weeks.
25) Cincinnati (5-9-1)
A.J. Green was so upset at being inactive that he left the stadium. Marvin Lewis may be next to do so. His exit won’t be voluntary.
24) Carolina (6-9)
Ron Rivera and Cam Newton stated publicly that Luke Kuechley shouldn’t play again this year with concussion issues. Agreed. There’s nothing the world’s best linebacker can do to extinguish this dumpster fire.
23) Philadelphia (6-9)
Eagles beat a quality Giants team. If only they flew through midseason like they started and finished.
22) Buffalo (7-8)
The Bills fired Rex Ryan on Tuesday morning.
21) Minnesota (7-8)
Remember, way back in the day, when the Vikings were 5-0? Seems like a lifetime ago. Probably feels that way for the Purple People Eaters. Injuries ate their season alive.
20) Arizona (6-8-1)
Cardinals apparently remembered that football is about scoring more points than the other team.
19) New Orleans (7-8)
Saints played spoiler by beating the Bucs. No consistency, no surprise New Orleans hovers around .500.
18) Indianapolis (7-8)
Saturday’s loss to the Raiders made it the first time the Colts had a two-season playoff drought since the Manning era. It’s proof that Andrew Luck needs some help.
17) Tampa Bay (8-7)
Buccaneers had to beat the Saints and blew it. Young team got overwhelmed by the moment.
16) Baltimore (8-7)
The Ravens lost a playoff spot and the AFC North to the hated Steelers. Steve Smith is heartbroken. Might’ve been his last game. Tough way for a true competitor to go out.
15) Tennessee (8-7)
Marcus Mariota shattered his leg. Brutal way to end the season, losing a playoff chase and a quarterback the same day. We hope a fun quarterback gets well soon.
14) Denver (8-7)
The Super Bowl champs won’t get a chance to defend their title. Looks like quarterback’s an important position, after all.
13) Washington (8-6-1)
The Washington football club wins to stay alive in the wild-card race. (Insert clever Kirk Cousins “You Like That!” pun/riff here.)
12) Houston (9-6)
Playing in the AFC South must be pretty sweet. Texans would be a third-place team in three other divisions. Worst record of any division winner.
11) Detroit (9-6)
It’s possible the Lions are out of pixy dust. Magic’s wearing off.
10) Atlanta (10-5)
Falcons locked up the NFC South title. That late-season fade we all expected never came.
9) Miami (10-5)
No need for a vote. Just give Adam Gase the Coach of the Year trophy right now.
8) N.Y. Giants (10-5)
Odell Beckham can’t do it all by himself.
7) Green Bay (9-6)
Remember, back in the day, when we told Packers fans to R-E-L-A-X? We meant it. Nobody wants to see the Packers right now.
6) Seattle (9-5-1)
5) Pittsburgh (10-5)
Ben Roethlisberger ripped out the Ravens’ tell-tale heart with a last-minute victory. Other teams might experience the same come January. Steelers are cut throat. So many weapons.
4) Kansas City (11-4)
The Chiefs ended Denver’s playoff hopes on Sunday night, won’t go quietly into the night. Pushing the Raiders hard for the AFC West title.
3) Raiders (12-3)
Through three quarters of Saturday’s victory over Indy, the Raiders had a real shot to win the AFC. That was before tragedy struck Derek Carr. How will the Raiders respond without their MVP?
2) Dallas (13-2)
Hopefully Monday’s victory kills the “Should they play Tony Romo” nonsense for a week at least.
1) New England (13-2)
This season’s destined to end with Roger Goodell handing Tom Brady a Super Bowl trophy. That’ll be must-see TV.