Patriots

All the Tostitos: A fairy tale

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All the Tostitos: A fairy tale

By Adam HartCSNNE.comThe following is the dramatized story of the Fiesta Bowl president and CEO who was fired for allegedly using bowl monies for extravagances and illegal campaign contributions. If only someone was there to tell the Madoff scam in fairy-tale form.Once upon a time a man got a job as a promoter for a bowl; a bowl so glorious onlookers came from across the countryside to view it. His name was Junker, and my he was good. As time grew, his work carried him up a tall ladder -- literally -- where he was charged with protecting the beautiful bowl. His new responsibility was a source of great pride for his family.Soon it became a source of something else, something tangibly better. Junker discovered this bowl contained money -- lots of money. Since few even knew that bowl atop the tall ladder held anything more than aesthetics, taking a small amount wouldn't hurt anyone. So he did just that.Junker promised himself he would only take money for the sake of the bowl. His hands first dipped into the bowl at a time of great anguish. For it became known those pilgrims flocking to witness the bowl also flocked to somehow-dangerous local strip clubs. "It is important for us to visit," Junker said to his most-trusted employees. "We certainly will conduct business there."And how. Junker repeated the phrase "This is for all the Tostitos" a dozen times during his trip to the strip club. No security risk was found. The 1,241 was worth it.His hands again dipped into the bowl, this time during great turmoil. Lawmakers were either for or against planting bean stocks to the south to prevent undesirables from visiting. As any good protector of a bowl would, Junker told his most-, semi- and least-trusted employees to make political contributions to the bean stock-backing lawmakers; he then reimbursed them via "bonuses." No undesirables saw the bowl. The 46,539 in "bonuses" was worth it.Junker's hands dipped into the bowl a third time. He was turning 50, which isn't all that old in the world of fairy tales. But he needed to throw himself a birthday party, anyway. Though some claim it had "absolutely no business purpose," the party allowed Junker to ease his mind. For a tense mind could lead to a dropped bowl, the very disaster against which he was hired to protect. The precious bowl did not fall from atop the ladder. The 30,000 was worth it.But one day the trustees of the bowl -- the mean old people who hired Junker -- showed up at the base of the ladder. They knew about the money in the bowl. Junker nervously looked down from atop the ladder, as the trustees climbed rung-by-rung. When they reached the top, they saw a sizeable amount of money was missing. Junker was fired. Ashamed, he descended down the ladder he once worked so hard to climb. He was instructed to never again witness the magic of the bowl in person. Junker, who took advantage of the bowl and those who made it shine, became an undesirable. A true undesirable.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: Wentz tosses 4 TDs, Eagles beat Redskins, 34-24

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MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL: Wentz tosses 4 TDs, Eagles beat Redskins, 34-24

PHILADELPHIA - Carson Wentz tossed four touchdown passes, and the Philadelphia Eagles overcame losing nine-time Pro Bowl left tackle Jason Peters in a 34-24 win over the Washington Redskins on Monday night.

Wentz threw for 268 yards and ran for a career-best 63 after a shaky start to lead the NFL-best Eagles (6-1) to their fifth straight win. But the victory was costly because Peters was carted off the field with a knee injury in the third quarter.

Kirk Cousins had 303 yards passing and three TDs for the Redskins (3-3).

The Eagles went three-and-out three times in their first four drives and had only 57 total yards before Wentz hit Mack Hollins in stride with a perfect 64-yard TD pass to tie it at 10.

That got the offense rolling.

Wentz connected with Zach Ertz for 46 yards on the next series and found him again for a 4-yard TD pass to make it 17-10.

After getting the second-half kickoff, the Eagles drove 86 yards for another touchdown. Peters was injured during the series, and fans chanted his name while teammates surrounded the cart.

Wentz finished the drive off with a play that Peters would appreciate.

While being hit by two defenders and falling forward, Wentz lofted a 9-yard TD pass to Corey Clement.

Wentz fired a 10-yard TD pass to Nelson Agholor to expand the lead to 31-17. Wentz kept that drive alive by escaping a sack and running 17 yards on third-and-8.

Cousins tossed a 7-yard touchdown pass to Chris Thompson to give the Redskins a 10-3 lead. He connected with Jordan Reed on a 5-yard TD to cut the deficit to 24-17 and threw a 12-yard pass to Reed to cap the scoring.

The Eagles were penalized on four straight plays to start their first possession before Wentz was intercepted by Quinton Dunbar on a deep pass to Torrey Smith on second-and-31.

Philadelphia swept Washington for the first time since 2013 and has a commanding lead in the NFC East. The Cowboys and Redskins are tied for second place.

NBC SPORTS BOSTON SCHEDULE

BOSTON SPORTS TONIGHT PODCAST: Are Patriots' defensive problems solved?

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BOSTON SPORTS TONIGHT PODCAST: Are Patriots' defensive problems solved?

0:41 - Tom Giles, Michael Holley, and Tom Curran react to the Patriots’ 23-7 win over the Falcons on Sunday night and whether the Patriots deserve to be considered Super Bowl favorites.

6:09 - Is Johnson Bademosi an upgrade over Stephon Gilmore at cornerback for the Patriots? Michael Hurley joins BST to debate with Tom Curran, Michael Holley, and Kayce Smith. They also discuss the defense’s overall improvement in Sunday night’s win.

14:37 - NBC Sports Boston’s Red Sox insider Evan Drellich joins the show to talk about the Red Sox hiring Alex Cora to be their new manager, whether it was the right choice, and how his presence will affect the Red Sox clubhouse.

22:14 - Kayce Smith and Tom Curran discuss Kyrie Irving’s vulgar response to a Philadelphia fan yelling “Where’s LeBron?” at him on Friday night.

NBC SPORTS BOSTON SCHEDULE