By Justin Aucoin
Bryant Gumble described it as a crime scene with blood splatter. Our editors thought someone had already taken a look at one of our new posts. Personally, we just had flashbacks of college physics exams. But boy is there a lot of red Xs on Charles Barkleys bracket.
It boils down to Charles Barkley knowing diddly about college basketball. But he wont admit it. The guys too proud. Its one of the reasons we can put up with him his blind arrogance is a thing of beauty.
His excuse? Choosing friends in the first round. Seriously.
It really doesnt count. Man, tell that to all the teams that were one and done in the first round. Were sure theyd be ecstatic to learn about this new rule.
Some bracketeers choose winners by team mascots, team colors, the regional weather, Ms. Cleo, etc. But leave it to Barkley to choose bros over common sense.
Not surprisingly, this isnt the first time hes used the First time doesnt count defense.
As a youngling he often failed pop quizzes because he didnt read the assigned chapters. Totally not his fault, however. He was out playing with friends instead of studying up.
Weve also stopped playing golf with Barkley since he constantly calls for mulligans and claim his first round of shots dont really count.
Lies. We dont play golf with Barkley. Were not that stupid. Also, we suck at golf.
When he got busted for a DUI? Clearly not his fault, and, according to the Barkley Rule, the first time you get busted for a DUI it doesnt count. So, in a way this never happened.
In fact, we might start using the Barkley Rule in everyday life taxes, dating, cooking, other bad decisions from a wild and irresponsible youth. Remember: If you screw up royally the first time, it doesnt count.
Moral of the story never choose your friends over teams you know are going to win. Friendships might come and go but the glory that is winning your March Madness pool lasts forever.