#RelationshipGoals: Pats fans' guide to the Celtics
So the Patriots season is over and now you’re left with a massive void in your heart. They say the best way to get over someone is to get
under behind another team (google it), and I’ve got someone who’d be perfect for you: The Boston Celtics.
Isaiah Thomas: Husband material
Don’t let his small stature fool you: Isaiah Thomas is someone you can build a future with. His committed relationship with excellence (20-plus points in all but one game this season) is an example of how devoted he is to winning. His career-high 54.8 eFG% is proof that he’s willing to work on himself to make this partnership work. Scoreboard got you down? I.T. is always there in times of need (10.7 ppg in 4th quarter).
You’ve spent the last two years searching for a superstar, when he was right here all along. Start giving the Little Guy the attention he deserves (your wife won’t mind).
Marcus Smart: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Your friends all ask, what do you see in him? But you know there’s beauty beyond the boxscore. Smart knows what he wants (the ball) and will do whatever it takes to get it (1.5 steals/game). He’s got his flaws (35.9 fg%) but he’ll defend your honor, and the perimeter, until the end. Bottom line, he’ll make enough plays to win the game, and your heart.
Al Horford: The rebound
Sometimes the stars really do align. This offseason Al Horford was coming off a long-term relationship with the Hawks, and the Celtics were in search of an upgrade in the frontcourt. While most Celtics fans had their sights set on Kevin Durant, signing Horford instantly added credibility to a Celtics team trying to climb towards real contention.
A generous teammate (leads all centers with 5.2 assist/game), who is very protective of the rim (1.7 blks/game), Horford is the kind of guy that makes you look better just by being in his presence.
Jae Crowder: 99 problems but positional versatility ain’t one
There’s a reason every team the Celtics talk to about trades asks about Jae Crowder. With the ability to defend four spots at a high level, Crowder is positional versatility personified. He’s like a Swiss army knife with dreads, but his love isn’t free (although his $8 million annual salary is close to the NBA equivalent of free). Jaesus will rain three-pointers on opponents, but you better not cheer for one of their players. (Gordon Hayward?) He’s in touch with his feelings, and not afraid to show his emotions. He’s also the ninth-leading 3-point shooter in the NBA this season.
Kelly Olynyk: Why can’t I quit you?
Kelly Olynyk’s fickle production can be maddening for Celtics fans, but just when you’re ready to leave him, he strings together three straight games with 14-plus points. The trouble for Olynyk is he’s too often judged for what he isn’t, Giannis Antetokounmpo (the player selected two picks after him in the 2013 NBA Draft), rather than what he is: A 7-foot sniper who plays great team defense. If you adjust your expectations, you just might notice that Olynyk often carries the Celtics' second unit on his shoulders. Just don’t mess up his hair.
Brad Stevens: 50 shades of green
Don’t mistake Brad Stevens’ even-keeled demeanor as emotional detachment; he’s just busy calculating his next adjustment. The Christian Grey of NBA coaches, Stevens’ squeaky clean image is just a front for the sadistic basketball wizard he is on the inside. From irregular substitution patterns to downright erotic after-timeout plays, Stevens’ secrets are becoming harder to hide as he gains national prominence. We’ll see if he can keep up the ruse while serving as head coach of the Eastern Conference All-Stars later this month.