Canceled rookie symposium means more NFL trouble


Canceled rookie symposium means more NFL trouble

By Mary Paoletti

Yesterday the NFL canceled its first official event, the annual rookie symposium, because of the ongoing lockout.

The summit is important; new pros learn about money management, PEDs, and other facets of the NFL lifestyle.

Canceling the event could have dire consequences.

In light of what Ray Lewis said this week about current pros committing crimes because they have nothing else to do, we should all fear for these rookies. Apparently, NFLers can't handle life without having handlers and structure. What will happen to these young men without any guidance?

WGS has created a Top-5 Mock Draft of Doom to clue people into the gravitas of the coming weeks.


The 1st overall selection of 2011 really could have used financial advice.

"My dad said he'd take care of my accounts for me," a distraught Newton says. "How am I bankrupt before the season even starts?"


The Titans first round selection impregnates 12 different women. When asked about the absurd amount of children he's fathered, Locker says, "Look at me! I'd never get chicks if I wasn't an NFL quarterback."

"After the draft, there were about a million women who wanted to get with me. I got kind of excited about all the attention, I guess, and without the symposium I didn't know how to handle it. But, clearly, I don't get too excited when it matters. Amirite?" he laughs. He and Cromartie become best friends. Their kids play together all the time.


Peterson, selected 5th overall by the Cardinals murders five wide receivers. Not on the field, but like, for real. With some blunt object or his bare hands or something. The cornerback is shocked when taken into custody by police.

"I know it's against the law to kill people," Peterson says in interrogation. "But I thought the league's conduct policy was different. Isn't Goodell the only guy I have to listen to?"


Nate Solder, Ras-I Dowling, Shane Vereen, Stevan Ridley, Ryan Mallett, Marcus Cannon, Lee Smith, Markell Carter and Malcolm Williams all get busted for possession of marijuana. Each player is caught somewhere in Massachusetts with exactly one ounce of cannabis. They all say exactly the same thing: "An ounce is LEGAL in this state!" and they're right.

However, Goodell notes the personal conduct violations. When the season resumes, the Commissioner fines, suspends and sends to counseling those players who made the team. All feel "hoodwinked".


One week after the symposium is cancelled, Azteca Deportes broadcasts a sex tape depicting Wilkerson and Inez Sainz.

According to the Jets first rounder: "She just showed up at my apartment! She said she really, really likes the Jets and wanted to show me how much she really, really likes the Jets."

Why wasn't he thrown off by the camera crew? "She's a journalist!" Wilkerson says. "She said they go with her wherever she goes. How am I supposed to know what's wrong if nobody tells me?"

Bruins spoil Julien's return to Boston with victory over Canadiens, 4-1

Bruins spoil Julien's return to Boston with victory over Canadiens, 4-1

BOSTON – It was a nice night for Claude Julien in his return to Boston with a well-done video montage and a warm ovation from the still-appreciative Bruins fans. But that’s where it ended for the Habs coach as his hockey club pretty much no-showed for the game and rolled over in a 4-1 win for the Bruins at TD Garden on Wednesday night. 

The Canadiens scored the game’s first goal just 31 seconds into the game when a Jakub Jerabek perimeter shot bounced off Zdeno Chara in front and skipped past Tuukka Rask. But it was all Black and Gold after that with David Pastrnak tying things up six minutes later, and the Bruins outshooting the Habs by a 13-7 margin in the second period while extending their lead. 

This time it was Ryan Spooner taking the puck to the net and watching as his centering pass attempt bounced off Jonathan Drouin’s skate and into the net. It was three goals in his last four games for Spooner, who had to feel a pretty big sense of satisfaction at netting the game-winner against a coach he clearly didn’t see eye-to-eye with early in his B’s career. 

Brad Marchand added a necessary power play strike in the third period to give Boston the insurance marker that they needed, but it didn’t really matter against a Canadiens team that was pretty lifeless for long stretches of the game. 

Tuukka Rask stopped 21 shots and went into lockdown mode after the first goal allowed, but truth be told the Canadiens didn’t have much in the way of quality chances throughout the game. David Krejci added the empty net goal late in the third for icing on the cake in a pretty one-sided affair for a Boston/Montreal rivalry game. 


Isaiah Thomas likes video of Jalen Rose calling Paul Pierce 'petty'


Isaiah Thomas likes video of Jalen Rose calling Paul Pierce 'petty'

Just when all the video tribute controversy between Isaiah Thomas and Paul Pierce seemed to be dying down, Jalen Rose heated it right back up.

Live on ESPN's "NBA Countdown," Rose called Pierce "petty" for his comments on the Celtics potentially holding a video tribute for Isaiah on Feb. 11 when Pierce gets his jersey retired.

Jalen Rose called Paul Pierce petty right to his face... 😳

A post shared by DIME on UPROXX (@dimemagazine) on

Thomas tweeted on Tuesday that he (again) declined the Celtics' offer to hold the tribute for him so it wouldn't interfere with Pierce's night. But if you look at the likes on the Instagram video above, posted by dimemagazine, you'll see Thomas appears to agree with Rose on the matter.

It doesn't look like the video tribute drama is going to end until the Feb. 11 matchup between the Celtics and Cavaliers is over with.