Dropping the Cup with Mikey Ryder


Dropping the Cup with Mikey Ryder

Jon Fucile

Former Bruins forward and back up goalie Michael Ryder had this day with the Stanley Cup this week and in true Ryder style, gave people plenty to complain about.

On his watch, the Cup fell off a table and was dented as the story spread quickly across the internet. Everyone immediately blamed Ryder and made various jokes about him trying to hit the net with the Cup, but missing wide. As it turns out, however, Ryder was not stupid enough to drop the Cup. Whichever idiot set up the table the Cup was to sit on apparently neglected to lock the legs of the table, causing the Cup to take a little spill.

No one has since offered an official apology to Ryder for cursing his family and making mean comments about his mother.

Seriously, this is what actually happened:

And this is what people apparently thought happened based on how they acted:

We can kind of understand why people in Canada would not check to make sure the table could hold the Stanley Cup. No Canadian team has won since 1993 so theyre certainly not used to knowing what to do with it. We put this picture together for you folks in Canada for next time:

It really is not that hard. This is what happens when you successfully lock the table:

And this is what happens when some fool forgets to lock the table:

Even though Ryder had more saves in the first round of the playoffs than Roberto Luongo had in the Finals, he apparently was unable to get to the Cup in time to make the save because of his playing style.

There is a rumor going around that no one was actually stupid enough to NOT lock the table legs, but rather the table was sabotaged by some jealous hockey player who is not good enough to get a Stanley Cup.

The only problem with this rumor is that no one from Vancouver would recognize the Cup if they saw it seeing as how the city has never won a Cup.

Ryder was blasted on the internet before the truth came out, but seriously, if youve watched hockey for any length of time you should know by now that the Cup gets a lot of bruises. Besides, worse things have happened to the Cup than some dude at Ryders party denting it.

Redskins' 20-10 victory adds to woes for Giants (2-9)


Redskins' 20-10 victory adds to woes for Giants (2-9)

LANDOVER, Md. - Kirk Cousins threw two touchdown passes to compensate for a pick-6, and the Washington Redskins beat the New York Giants 20-10 on Thursday night on a drab field in a drab game between two injury-depleted teams that did not look ready for prime time. Click here to read more. 


Mapping out the Celtics' next super long win streak

Mapping out the Celtics' next super long win streak

That Celtics win streak was dope. Let’s map out an even longer one that probably won’t happen. 

Nobody’s actually expecting them to keep the pace they’ve established with their recently concluded run. Still, with 63 games remaining, there’s still time for the Celtics to have up to three win streaks of even longer than 16 games. So, because it’s the holidays and the holidays are all about positivity (fun move you’ve probably picked up from movies: You can say “the holidays are all about _____” and just put in whatever you want and it will work), let’s map out the next win streak. 


A big part of the Celtics’ 16-gamer (and get ready to say “duh”) is that they were better than a lot of the teams they beat. But they also beat one team that was without question better than them and beat a few teams that could certainly beat them on any given night. 

Here’s a rough breakdown of the 16 games: 

- Even if they didn’t go as smoothly as anticipated, nine games were against what could be classified as easy prey based on their rosters and how those teams were playing: The 76ers, the Knicks, the Kings, the Hawks twice, the Lakers, the Hornets, the Nets and the Mavericks. 

- Let’s say that the Heat (whom they played and beat during the streak before Miami snapped the streak Wednesday) and Magic weren’t perceived pushovers, but rather unremarkable opponents. 

- Four games were against what one could call worthy opponents for the Celtics: the Bucks, the Spurs (though they were missing Kawhi Leonard), the Thunder and the Raptors. 

- Nobody was ever pretending the Celtics were actually better than the Warriors. 

So that breaks the 16 games into one game against an unequivocally superior opponent, four against worthy opponents, two against unremarkable teams, and nine joke books. 

Of course, there are several variables that can be thrown into that, such as the fact that the C’s beat one of the aforementioned good teams (Toronto) without Kyrie Irving and nearly lost to two of those trash teams (Charlotte and Dallas). You can’t predict injuries just like you shouldn’t predict win streaks, but let’s take all the information we have and try to find the next one:


Friday vs. Magic (trash; probable win)

Saturday at Pacers (unremarkable; potential loss)

A back-to-back after a holiday with the second game on the road against a team that’s been way better than expected? I don’t like the sound of it. 

Nov. 27 vs. Pistons (worthy opponent; potential loss)

Are they overrated? Maybe, but Pistons currently hold the second spot in the Eastern Conference. Whether it’s the Pacers or the Pistons, I think this short stretch prevents a speed bump. The streak might have to wait. 


Nov. 30 against Sixers (upgraded to unremarkable based on recent play; still win)

Remember: The last streak started against the Sixers. Hopefully, Kyrie pays that fans’ way to Boston for a halftime reunion. 

Dec. 2 vs. Suns (trash; win)

Dec. 4 vs. Bucks (worthy opponent; win)

Celtics aren’t losing to those sons of guns twice at home. 

Dec. 6 vs. Dallas (trash; win)

Can you get revenge on a team for almost beating you? Yes. The Celtics will. 

Dec. 8 at Spurs (worthy opponent; win)

Until I see Kawhi on the court, this one is a win. 

Dec. 10 at Detroit (worthy opponent; win)

The Pistons play the Spurs, Bucks and Warriors the three previous games. They’ll be all tuckered out. 

Dec. 11 through Dec. 23 (mix of unremarkable and trash opponents; seven wins)

Dec. 25 vs. Wizards (worthy opponent; win)

Terry Rozier becomes a household name with a Christmas performance for the ages. 

Dec. 27 at Charlotte (trash; win) 

Dec. 28 vs. Houston (worthy opponent; win) 

Dec. 31 vs. Brooklyn (trash; loss)

The Celtics are 0-1 the days prior to holidays this season. The streak ends at 18. 


We'll assess it then, but for now, let's say undefeated (including playoffs).