By Jon Fucile
Carmelo Anthony is just another athlete in a long list who has gone public with his wishes to join a new team and didnt exactly helping his current team make a deal or get any value from him on his way out.
Anthony finally stopped being a jerk and accepted a trade to the Knicks Monday night, ending the trade saga and finally allowing Denver to move on.
Maybe Anthony wasnt just being a jerk though. Maybe all of the offers were so enticing he simply couldnt decide! A Wicked Good Sports insider was able to get the inside scoop on some of the offers floating around out there before Carmelo finally ended up with the Knicks:
TRADE OFFER 1
To New Jersey Nets: Carmelo Anthony, Chauncy Billups, Free Ski passes for everyone!
To Denver Nuggets: Four first round picks, Devin Harris, Jay-z, The Situation, Snookie
- Carmelo no longer has to be constantly bored and cold in Denver
- Two most annoying cast members of that terrible Jersey Shore show will hopefully freeze to death in the Denver wilderness
- The Nets may move to Brooklyn and Anthony would reportedly super duper love that.
- Sucks for Jay-z because no one in Denver has heard of rap music
- The Nets, much like Denver, never really win anything. Ever. At all.
- Carmelo is closer to New York and will be over covered every day by ESPN
- With the audition of some members of the Jersey Shore cast, the percentage of Colorado residents with STDs will go up by 30 in just one week
TRADE OFFER 2
To New York Knicks: Carmelo Anthony, John Elway
To Denver Nuggets Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, A-Rod, Mike DAntonis mustache
- Spoiled brat Carmel Anthony gets to go to his preferred destination
- John Elway can throw wicked spirals all the way down the court for the worlds longest alley-oops.
- A-rod get can back on steroids and no one will notice because no one cares about anything that goes on in Colorado
- For the Knicks, they totally lose out on this deal because DAntonis mustache is pretty epic.
- ESPN would show even less hockey highlights as they document Carmelos every pass, dunk and shot because hes playing in New York now.
TRADE OFFER 3
To Charlotte Bobcats: Carmelo Anthony, Peter Forsberg, Tim Tebow
To Denver Nuggets: Michael Jordan (as an owner, not a player), Dale Earnhardt Jr, Gerald Wallace, Stephen Jackson
- Peter Forsberg can do his retiring, unretiring, retiring gig in another sport
- Tim Tebow might get caught with some Nascar groupies and his wholesome boy act will be shattered for good
- Dale Earnhardt Jr can start his basketball career and finally play a real sport. If he gets glued to the bench, he already has lots of practice sitting down. Nascar sucks.
- Carmelo Anthony can paint numbers on the side of his car and when he gets pulled over for speeding he can just tell local cops he got lost on his way to the race track
- Michael Jordan will run another pro team into the ground
- Carmelo Anthony only has one first name and may not fit in with the Bobby Joe and Susie May two first name fans.
- It is still Charlotte.
- It is probably way too hot to wear those head bands Carmelo is so fond of.
Maybe Charlotte would have been the best option for the rest of us.