Red Sox

A lot has happened since Cleveland's last win


A lot has happened since Cleveland's last win

By Jon Fucile

The Cleveland Cavaliers are awful. Atrocious. Horrendous. They make the Washington Generals look good. There are college teams that look like they could beat the Cavs.

They have lost 26 games in a row. Think about how bad a team has to be to lose 26 times in a row. The WBNA has more fans than the Cavs have wins. Helen Keller knew more words than the Cavs have wins. Even the Black Eyed Peas looked better than the Cavs during their halftime performance.

On Wednesday night, they matched the 76-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers record for sports futility. Yes, now they are in the company of orange pirates who really suck at sports.
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On the plus side, if youre looking for a quick way to make 10 just bet on the Cavs to lose every night. Safest bet youll ever make.

It has been so long since the Cavs last win that fans dont even know what winning is anymore. Their last win was December 18th. No, seriously; look it up.

So whats been going on around sports and the world since the Cavs last win?

Cleveland favorite Lebron James had more 30 point gamesthan the Cavs have wins on the season.Tim Thomas has won eleven games for the Bruins.Jonas Salk developed a polio vaccine, ridding the world of this horrible, horrible disease.

Some boring truck full of boring baseball equipment headed down to Florida and weird baseball fans got all excited for the entire lame process.

The world was devastated when Amelia Earhart never returned from her flight around the world.

Marc Sanchez was embroiled in more controversies regarding seventeen year old girls than the Cavs had wins so far in February.

The Packers have won more Super Bowls in 2011 than the Cavs have won games in 2011.

Since the Cavs last win, Patrice Bergeron, Jeff Carter, Steven Stamkos, Brad Marchand, Ryan Kesler, Michael Grabner and Johan Franzen are just some of the NHL players that have scored more goals than the Cavs have total wins on the season.

The Bruins and Montreal Canadiens had more fights in one game than the Cavs have wins on the season.

Zdeno Chara went nuts and refuses to wear anything but feety pajamas.

The Detroit Lions have just as many wins as the Cavaliers in 2011.

The phrase I have to take a dump was replaced with I have to take a Cavs.

The Cavaliers even lost a game to that dog from Air Bud.

Yes, dark times in Cleveland. At least they can look forward to... the Browns?


Astros beat Yankees in Game 7 to advance to World Series, 4-0


Astros beat Yankees in Game 7 to advance to World Series, 4-0

HOUSTON - Charlie Morton and Lance McCullers combined on a three-hitter, Jose Altuve and Evan Gattis homered and the Houston Astros reached the World Series, blanking the New York Yankees 4-0 Saturday night in Game 7 of the AL Championship Series.

Just four years removed from their third straight 100-loss season in 2013, the Astros shut down the Yankees for two straight games after dropping three in a row in the Bronx.

Next up for the Astros: Game 1 of the World Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers on Tuesday night. Houston aces Dallas Keuchel and ALCS MVP Justin Verlander will have plenty of rest, too, before the matchup begins at Dodger Stadium.

Houston has never won even a single World Series game. The only previous time the Astros made it this far, they were a National League team when they were swept by the Chicago White Sox in 2005.

Now, manager A.J. Hinch's club has a chance to win that elusive first title, while trying to boost a region still recovering from Hurricane Harvey.

Houston improved to 6-0 at Minute Maid Park in these playoffs and became the fifth team in major league history to win a seven-game postseason series by winning all four of its home games.

Morton bounced back from a loss in Game 3 to allow two hits over five scoreless innings. Starter-turned-postseason reliever McCullers limited the Yankees to just one hit while fanning six over the next four.

Combined, they throttled the Yankees one last time in Houston. Aaron Judge, Gary Sanchez and their New York teammates totaled just three runs in the four road games.

CC Sabathia entered the game 10-0 with a 1.69 ERA in 13 starts this season after a Yankees loss. But he struggled with command and was gone with one out in the fourth inning.

Houston was up 2-0 in fifth when former Yankees star Brian McCann came through for the second straight game by hitting a two-run double after snapping an 0-for-20 skid with an ground-rule RBI double to give Houston its first run on Friday night.

The Yankees, trying to reach the World Series for the first time since 2009, lost an elimination game for the first time this season after winning their first four in these playoffs. New York struggled on the road this postseason, with this loss dropping the team to 1-6.