Patriots

Minnesota collapse: It's all Favre's fault (again)

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Minnesota collapse: It's all Favre's fault (again)

By Jon Fucile
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com

Over the weekend, a game between the Minnesota Vikings and New York Giants had to be re-scheduled until Monday and moved to Detroit after the Metrodome roof collapsed.

At first glance, the collapse appears to be caused by excessive snow on the roof of the Metrodome. However, upon closer inspection, it appears the roof collapsed under the weight of Brett Favres massive ego.

Look at that smug face

What many fans dont realize is all the self important, egotistic, self-serving speeches Brett Favre gives before and after every gamepress conference float up and get caught in the Metrodome roof. Quite frankly, it's amazing this did not happen sooner.

Vikings ownership has been aware of this potential issue for quite some time, but they continue to keep letting Favre play and talk. They dont have the guts to tell him to just shudda his face. By now you might be asking yourself; If Vikings ownership was aware of this issue, why didnt they act sooner to prevent this from happening?

Simple: Lack of funds.

Follow us as we take a look at a few of the things that prevent Vikings ownership from maintaining a safe roof.

Fake Fans Cheering Favre On

Vikings owner Zygi Wilf is constantly spending money on actors dressed like Vikings fans to follow Brett Favre around and cheer him on in his everyday activities. Favre has such a fragile ego that he needs the constant cheering to get through his day. Otherwise he might realize how awful he is and suffocate himself in his Wrangler jeans.

Going to the bathroom. Eating dinner. Playing a game of Connect Four with his daughter. All of these actions are accompanied by cheering fans.

And actually, while playing a series of games of Connect Four against his daughter one day Favre sustained a minor finger injury between games while biting his nail. Favre immediately brought up his iron man streak of 356 consecutive Connect Four games and pretended he was more hurt than he actually was.

Zygi Wilf then had to pay for the retirement press conference in Favres kitchen, where Favre tearfully announced his retirement from the board game.

But as the fake Vikings fans cheered, Favre suddenly found the strength and courage to continue and returned to the living room to play the next game. However, with only a few spaces remaining on the board, Favre for some reason dropped his red piece in a sea of black pieces, allowing his daughter to capitalized and grab the victory. However, with all the paid fans cheering his name, Favre spiked a football in his daughters face and celebrated in the living room.

Always Buying Tissues

Brett Favre is a drama queen of the highest order. He makes the Kardashians look amateur by comparison.

But all the crying requires A LOT of tissues and Zygi is constantly buying Kleenex for Favre. When the Vikings kitchen is out of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Favre cries. When his teammates make fun of his Crocs, he cries. When his Blackberry says the digitally enhanced picture of his private area hes trying to send to some college girls he met is too large to send, he cries. When well, you get the point.

All those tissue boxes add up.

Unfortunately, Zygi realized far too late he shouldve just bought stock in Kleenex when he signed Favre.

Buying Depends

Brett Favre is old. Sometimes.accidents happen. Whether he hits a big pot hole in his truck and gets spooked, gets steam rolled by the slowest linebacker on the field when he holds the ball way too long, when he gets home and finds out his wife found out he was sending naughty pictures again or when he throws an interception and has to walk to the sidelines and face his team, sometimes a man of his age just cannot control those bowels.

That is why his uniform looks so thick in the pants. Hes got adult diapers on. You know how whenever Favre is injured and the Vikings release a report saying his plans have changed? They mean his diapers.

Fake Injury Reports and Doctor Visits

At some point of every game Favre has played in the past two years he gets injured and then spends the next week talking to anyone with a camera or microphone about how his games started streak might end and how hurt he is (thankfully, this streak finally came to an end Monday night).

But then he always miraculously recovers and plays as everyone across the country talks about what a super awesome, tough guy he is. You see what is happening here people? Hes playing you like a fiddle.

What about the X-rays and injury reports you ask? All fabricated on Zygi Wolfs dime.

Wolf pays the team doctors to keep their mouths shut about Favre being healthy and buys X-rays of actual injured people from local hospitals while Favre hides out in his basement playing Deer Hunter and laughing at all the reports about how he is doubtful.

These are just a few of the reasons the Vikings cannot afford to either fix the roof of the Metrodome or clear off the snow. It's all Brett Favres fault and the Vikings did it to themselves. But seeing as how Favre starting hawking merch of his streak as soon as it ended, maybe Zygi Wolf can get in on that and make some money back.

Speed to burn: Cooks, Brady team up to form most productive deep-ball combo

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Speed to burn: Cooks, Brady team up to form most productive deep-ball combo

The first came in the second quarter, when Brandin Cooks turned on afterburners to beat a Raiders double team and glide underneath a Tom Brady heave for 52 yards. The second came in the third quarter, on the third play from scrimmage of the second half, when Cooks faked an out-route, jetted past rookie corner Obi Melifonwu, and sped into the end zone to make the score 24-0. 

Both deep completions in New England's 33-8 win over Oakland just added to cumulative effect that Cooks has had on the Patriots offense since arriving before the season to become their top deep threat. 

Paired with Brady, Cooks has actually become the most productive deep threat in the NFL. 

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According to Pro Football Focus, Cooks leads all receivers with 431 yards on deep passes (throws that travel 20 yards or more down the field). In second place is Houston's DeAndre Hopkins with 313 yards. 

And Brady, who has long been more effective in the short-to-intermediate range than he has been deep, is now among the league leaders in creating explosive plays from the quarterback position. The Patriots are third in the NFL with 41 pass plays of 20 yards or more, and they are tied for second with nine plays of 40 yards or more. 

"You're always trying to work on that," Brady told WEEI's Kirk and Callahan Show of his team's deep passing game. "It's not one particular year [you work on it]. I think that's been a concerted effort by our entire offense, trying to make more explosive plays in the pass game. 

"Sometimes your offense is built differently. We actually have some guys now that can really get down the field so that becomes more of a point of emphasis. The way Brandin runs, the way that Chris Hogan runs, the way that Phillip Dorsett runs, they're very fast. You need to be able to take advantage of their skill set . . . 

"When we had David Patten we were throwing it deep. I mean, but David Patten didn't run a lot of short routes. I would say Brandin Cooks, in general, he doesn't run a lot of short routes. Everyone has a different role. If we can get by you, I think that's a good place to throw the ball. if we can't, we gotta figure out ways to throw it underneath and different weeks are going to call for different things based on the strengths of the defenses we're playing, too."

A week before beating the Raiders, against the Broncos and their talented corners, the Patriots had less luck pushing the ball down the field -- though they tried to hit Cooks deep multiple times. In Mexico City, Cooks matched up with a weaker secondary, and he wasn't at all slowed by the altitude, catching six passes in all for 149 yards and a score. 

Per PFF, Cooks has seen almost one third of his targets (30 percent) come on deep passes, which is the ninth-highest rate in the league. He's caught all 11 of his catchable deep passes, three of them accounting for scores.

"Obviously when you're throwing the ball 50-60 yards down the field," Brady said, "your chances of completion go down, but if you hit it, it ends up being a very explosive plays and you can change a lot of field position and get a defense really on their heels if they have to defend every blade of grass on the field." 

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Celtics thought it would be good . . . but this good?

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Celtics thought it would be good . . . but this good?

After arriving in Boston and spending some time with his new teammates, Kyrie Irving felt good about this group doing big things this season. 

But when asked about the experience thus far being what he thought it would be, Irving responded, “It’s probably exceeded that.”

He’s not alone. 

Few would have envisioned the Celtics (15-2) would have the best record in the NBA at this point, let alone be riding a 15-game winning streak which ranks as the fifth-best winning streak in franchise history. 

Irving and his Celtics teammates will try and keep it going tonight when they take on the Dallas Mavericks.

Irving’s ability to mesh with his teammates and still find success was among the many questions out there when the Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers pulled off the blockbuster trade this offseason. 

Blending in has not been an issue for Irving, bolstered by the reality that his game stands out. 

We saw that in Boston’s 110-99 win over the Atlanta Hawks, which was a game in which Irving had 30 points on an insanely efficient 10-for-12 shooting night. 

There were many factors that went into Irving’s strong night against the Hawks, but he said it really came down to one thing above all else.

“I just made some damn shots for once,” Irving quipped. “That right there kind of made it seem better than I actually been shooting over the start of the season.  It would also contribute to being able to be in the right spots and guys being selfless in their approach driving to the basket or getting into the paint. It’s tell-tale sign of all of us getting more comfortable.”

Here are five below-the-radar story lines to keep an eye on as the Boston Celtics face the Dallas Mavericks, with Boston gunning for its 16th straight win. 

BROWN’S POSITIVE PLAY

Jaylen Brown has been on a bit of an offensive tear of late, the last being a career-high 27-point performance in Boston’s win over Atlanta. But even more telling is how well things seem to flow with him on the floor. Brown’s plus/minus this season is +146 which is tops among all players in the Eastern Conference. His closest competition in the East? That would teammate Al Horford whose plus/minus this season is +143. In addition, Horford has had a positive plus/minus in every game this season. 

YOGI FERRELL

You can count Yogi Ferrell among the ones that got away from Brad Stevens when he was coaching at Butler. Ferrell, who played at Indiana, was a player on Stevens’ radar when he was coaching at Butler. “I recruited Yogi, unsuccessfully,” Stevens told reporters in Dallas. While Ferrell came on strong as an undrafted free agent with the Mavericks last season, Stevens said there’s nothing about Ferrell’s game now that he didn’t see when he tried to woo him to Butler. “He would have been awfully good at Butler,” Stevens said.

HOMECOMING

While Marcus Smart grew up in Flower Mound, Texas (less than an hour from Dallas), tonight’s game is a homecoming of sorts for another Celtics player – Semi Ojeleye. The 6-foot-7 forward played at SMU which is located in Dallas. A second-round pick by Boston in last June’s NBA draft, Ojeleye has been among the many surprise performers for the Celtics this season. “We knew he could be a versatile defender,” said Celtics head coach Brad Stevens. “Probably has exceeded our expectations in that regard with his ability to guard one (point guard) through five (center) at certain times. And he’s been pretty consistent shooting the ball. Right now, embracing that kind of 3-and-D role is what he has to do and he’s done it well.”

DEEP DRAFT CLASS

The Boston Celtics struck gold by drafting Jayson Tatum with the third overall pick. But as you look at the teams that had lottery picks in last June’s NBA draft, few come away feeling disappointed or discouraged by the player selected. The Dallas Mavericks are among the teams pleased with their first-round pick, Dennis Smith Jr. who was selected with the ninth overall pick. He has emerged as one of the top rookies this year, averaging 14.5 points, 4.5 assists and 4.2 rebounds per game. And yes, he was a player that was on the Celtics’ radar leading up to last June’s draft. “We had Dennis in and he was really impressive,” said Celtics head coach Brad Stevens. “He’s a guy that’s going to have a great career and he’s got good veteran players around him to help kick it off.”

DIRK NOWITZKI

The numbers aren’t anywhere close to what we’ve seen for the bulk of Dirk Nowitzki’s illustrious career that’s now in Year 20. But there is a demeanor about him that seems to be at peace with where he’s at basketball-wise, even if the wins aren’t nearly as plentiful as he’s accustomed to. “I appreciate his game a ton,” said Celtics head coach Brad Stevens. “Just watching him talk on the court, cheer on the bench, sit at the scorer’s table with a smile on his face. You can’t play this long and be this good this long if you don’t’ love it. Everybody says they love it, but he’s got a different level of passion. You can feel it, you can see it. You root for guys like him to have success.”

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