Patriots

A Texans Guarantee?

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A Texans Guarantee?

Over the last few days, theres been a ton of conversation both locally and nationally surrounding a recent column by the Boston Globes Dan Shaughnessy.

In case you missed it, Shaughnessy used his space in Sundays paper to make an over-the-top guarantee about this week's PatriotsTexans game. "Pass Go and collect 200," he wrote. "The Patriots are in the AFC title game."

What happened next?

Well, for a multitude of reasons (most of which pretty much disprove the existence of God), the column went viral, somehow ended up in Arian Fosters Twitter avatar and has since become a 'round-the-clock talking point for media folks nationwide.

Of course, from a Patriots perspective, the biggest concern stemming from Shaughnessy's think piece is that it provides unnecessary inspiration and bulletin board material for a team that already has enough.

But thankfully, it seems one Houston-area writer has set out to even the score. His name is Shaughn Daniels (@shaughndaniels) and he's a columnist from the Galveston Globe. I'm not going to link to his story because Daniels clearly only wrote it to stir the pot, troll the masses and get a few cheap clicks. I don't want to support that.

But at the very least, maybe spreading his nonsense can provide a little extra motivation for the Pats, and offset whatever damage was done by the Dean Wormer of the Boston sports media scene.

Read on at your own risk . . .

Destiny Awaits Texans
By: Shaughn Daniels
Galveston Globe columnist (@ShaughnDaniels)

Houston we have a problem . . .

A NEEDING-TO-BUY-SUPER-BOWL-TICKETS PROBLEM!The 2012-13 Houston Texans have been waiting all season for this moment, and their master plan has finally fallen into place. Mark it down, gang: February 3, 2013 your Houston Texans are headed to New Orleans.Catch my drift?I mean, seriously? In the business, we call this a lock. We call this destiny. Only road games against the Patriots and Broncos stand between Houston and their first-ever Super Bowl appearance? Thats right, Texans fans. Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, because thats what its all about. The Promised Land.Isnt it?My point is that theres no chance in hell that the Texans lose to the new-age choke artists on Sunday. The Patriots? Ha! What is this 2005?! NOT. The days of New England coming up big when it matters most are over. Anyone can see that. Do you know what I mean?

The regular season is well and good, my friends. But lately, when the Patriots get to the playoffs, they end up going directly to jail. They don't pass GO. It's not a race. It's not a chase. They don't hurry up and feed their face. They lose. They lost to the Giants, they lost to the Jets, they lost to the Ravens, they lost to the Giants. They've lost four playoffs games in the last five years, and guess what, folks?

They were favored every time.

They choked.

That means that they will choke again. You dig? You don't need a PHD from Rice to know how predictable sports are. And this one is about as predictable as they come.

The Pats don't have a chance.

You feel me?

It's THAT easy.

NFL playoffs?

The Texans are going to win!

First of all, because Bill Belichick is one of the most fraudulent coaches in NFL history. Let's see how he would have done with David Carr under center, right? I mean, did you see what happened the one year he didn't have Brady? HE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. Fraud.

Oh yeah and can this guy even coach defense anymore? Have you seen the Patriots 'D' this year? I know I haven't (Confession: I fell asleep in the first quarter of that Monday nighter). Still, New England's defense is weaker than a one-sentence paragraph. More useless than a rhetorical question. Seriously, can you imagine anything worse than the Patriots secondary?

Maybe Stevan Ridley. Or as I call him "Mr. Dropsies."

Ridley fumbles every single game. He'll obviously fumble on Sunday. And when he does, I guarantee the Texans recover. This time, I guarantee it's going to be different.

There's no way that the Patriots can contain Arian Foster and JJ Watt again. It's literally impossible. The Pats won't know what hit them. They know they got lucky last time. We all know they did.

This is the match-up the Texans have been waiting for. This is how it was always supposed to go: Lose to the Pats. Then keep losing. Just enough to guarantee a rematch and lure them into a false sense of security. It's the same move the Jets pulled two years ago and you saw how well that worked. THIS IS THE EXACT SAME THING.

The Texans have spent the last month playing dead in the weeds, while the fraudulent Patriots who haven't won a Super Bowl in eight years, and have a quarterback who's getting older and slower and less effective every week have predictability spent the time building up false expectations. Am I the only one who sees this?!

Of course not.

It's not even up for debate.

And neither is that fact that after dispatching of the pathetic chokers in New England, the Texans will cruuuuise past the Broncos. Why?

Um, have you forgotten Week 3?

Texans 31, Broncos 25, IN DENVER.

There's now way that kind of regular season dominance doesn't transfer into the playoffs. It always does! The Texans will show up at Mile High and pick up right we're they left off.

But first, they have to make a quick stop in Foxboro.

I'll see you in New Orleans.

Shaughn can be reached at shaughndaniels@gmail.com. Follow Shaughn on Twitter at http:twitter.comshaughndaniels

(And Rich can be reached at rlevine@comcastsportsnet.com. Follow Rich on Twitter at http:twitter.comrich_levine)

Indy columnist rips Colts for Josh McDaniels hire

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Indy columnist rips Colts for Josh McDaniels hire

Gregg Doyel hates Josh McDaniels. 

That's the only takeaway one can have after reading Doyel's latest column in the Indy Star, anyway. In it, Doyel writes that McDaniels, who is expected to be hired as Colts head coach, already got his chance to prove his chops as a head coach in Denver and showed he stinks. 

Writes Doyel: 

We get a clean slate just once, same as Josh McDaniels, and his came in 2009 when he was hired to coach the Denver Broncos. And in less than two years he spray-painted so much graffiti on there that the Broncos fired him for a variety of reasons, so take your pick: his abrasive personality, his horrific judgment of talent, his team’s penchant for losing games, or those broken NFL rules.

Here in Indianapolis, where Josh McDaniels is about to be entrusted with our city’s crown jewel – he’s expected to be the next head coach of the Indianapolis Colts – are we to pretend Denver didn’t happen?

Doyel also refers to a 2013 quote from former Broncos punter Mitch Berger, who compared playing for McDaniels to playing for an "equipment manager" and called him a "punk." Then there's this from Doyel, who likes where Berger's going with the "punk" talk: 

I still can’t believe this is happening. Can’t believe McDaniels will soon be hired by the Colts, and entrusted with Andrew Luck. Can’t believe he was the hottest commodity on the coaching market this fall. McDaniels is Lane Kiffin to me, an arrogant young punk who ascended rapidly after Daddy got him a cherry first job in coaching – McDaniels’ father, Ohio high school legend Thom McDaniels, was friends with Nick Saban, who hired Josh as a grad assistant at Michigan State in 1999 – and who kept getting promoted to the point of failure.

This isn't the first time Doyel has had a take critical of the Patriots, so maybe we shouldn't be surprised. But he for sure hates Josh McDaniels. 
 

Brady in a stew over Jags-just-another-tomato-can talk

Brady in a stew over Jags-just-another-tomato-can talk

Don’t let Tom Brady hear your nonsensical takes on the Jacksonville Jaguars. This “tomato can” is packed with all the essential elements to give the Pats QB fits.

“This is the biggest challenge we've faced all year,” Brady said Tuesday during his weekly interview with Kirk and Callahan on WEEI. “We've had a good offense. They've had the best defense. And that's always a challenge when you go up against those guys. When you watch them play over the course of the whole season, you can see why. There is not a lot of time for the quarterback to throw, and I think the whole secondary knows it. The linebackers know it. And they're aggressive. They take chances. They get a lot of turnovers. They got a really good scheme, and the quarterback is just under pressure all day. Unless you get opened very quickly, there’s a lot of sacks and sacks turns into long yardage and long yardage turns into punts . . . "

Brady spent hours on Monday pouring over film to familiarize himself with a Jags team that he last saw in the preseason.

“There’s a reason why they’re in this game,” he said. “They’re the best team we’ve faced all season and if we don’t play our best, we’re not going to advance.”

That’s why Brady won’t allow himself to be distracted by all that comes with advancing to this point, or even the lingering stench of that ESPN/Seth Wickersham article. Who’s got time for that when there is so much on the line?

“This is a long time we’ve committed to each other since we came back together in April,” he said. “April, May, all those months committed to training and walkthroughs and practices and games and injuries and the emotion -- I don’t think we’re going to let anything get in the way of this week. I think the coach -- Coach [Bill] Belichick -- he does so many great things. One thing is he sets the best tone for the players because he knows what it takes to compete at this level without -- there’s more hype surrounding the game, there’s more distractions, there’s more people, there’s more people covering the game, there’s more to talk about it but we’re focused on our job . . . The hype only gets bigger from here so we just gotta stay focused on what we need to do.”

The Jags have obviously done a good job on that front as well. There is no way they’d be at this point, on this stage, without not only talent but that singular focus. Of course with some youth comes some exuberance and Jalen Ramsey’s comments to about 10,000 fans Sunday night has been a topic of conversation on sports radio and television and even in the Patriots’ locker room.

Brady doesn’t believe that’s something that would ever come out of Foxboro, but he’s not publicly shaming Ramsey either.

“What i’ve learned over a long time is it’s how you play, it’s not what you say," Brady said. "Everyone has different ways of handling things. We do what works for us.”

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