NFL Plaintiffs' list of demands grows

Share

By Adam Hart
Assisted by Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

The agent for Logan Mankins has denied reports his client attempted to hold NFL labor negotiations over a barrel with a 10 million cash demand.

This can only mean one thing: it's time for more fake NFL plaintiff demands. Better than watching the back-and-forth reporting on twitter.

One of Giovanni Carmazzi's five goats. Preferably alive. - Tom Brady

A non-speaking role in The Dark Knight Rises. - Brian Robison

A 3.357 lbs. bag of Skittles with all the orange and yellow removed. - Von Miller

An all-expense-paid trip to Jurassic Park. The real one. - Peyton Manning

A private concert with the Trololo guy. In 1966. - Drew Brees

The right to sign the largest signature on the document settling the lawsuit, John Hancock style - Vincent Jackson

Three Dogs of War, complete with titanium teeth and infrared spy camera. - SURPRISE! Not Michael Vick. It's Ben Leber.

A glorious sweater-vest bon fire. But it better be glorious. - Mike Vrabel

An Adam Schefter vs. Bert Breer cage match. We all know Breer will win; he's been living on the streets. - Osi Umenyiora

A public apology from NFLPAmythologist Jeffrey Kessler. And Don't Ever Trust Lawyers classes for every football writer in the country. - Logan Mankins

Contact Us