Quest for the puck-moving D-Man: an epic poem

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By Mary Paoletti, Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

"I take it as a necess'ry challenge,"
Chiarelli says with so much vibrato.
But there's one caveat: dude's gotta scavenge.
He's a better chance at winning the lotto.

Yet the search goes on for a mover of pucks.
"It can't be that hard," he wonders aloud.
Thus far, his oral thoughts bear no such luck
And in Boston's own zone, the defense gets plowed.

There is Lidstrom, Markov, Boyle, Streit and Green;
Proof that The Puck-Mover's not a tall tale.
His dreams of Kaberle? Downright unclean.
But the efforts to snag him all result in a fail.

For two years Chia tries to bring Tomas to town;
The D-men at home just can't get it done.
Wideman, alone, almost takes the team down,
And his awkwardness puts Chia under the gun.

"Puck-movers are great, puck-movers are sound!"
Nary a flaw is found in Claude's system,
Must be their fault, careers near below-ground.
There's somebody out there, he just musta missed him.

Chia insists Kaberle will fix all.
So a deal is reached-- But his talents go missing.
In Boston, the order proves far too tall.
And it's Wideman for whom he is now reminiscing!

In frustrating fashion the power play rots:
7-for-78 since Kaberle signed.
Chia panics and dives into hookers and yachts;

Some wonder if Julien's out of his mind.

"Pssh!" say the fans, "Enough is enough!
You hired Claude and endorsed him at will,
But the fact is, Kaberle just isn't tough.
We lost Colborne and picked up a 4M bill!"

"This betrayal is something that I must avenge,"
Chiarelli now cries. "We expected more!"
Says Tomas: "I take it as a necess'ry challenge.
Don't wanna be blamed if les Habs win this war."

THE END.

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