By Adam Hart
Towels, and terrible ones at that.
The Jets are playing lousy amid the frantic waving of those frightening pieces of yellow cloth. All the while a lone WGS writer sits in his CSNNE.com Web Zone chair, mentally constructing a post that would crush the towels' self-esteem. It is a post that must wait another year, gestating without certainty it will ever enjoy a life on the internet.
"Oh, what could have been," he thinks of tweeting without adding context. He doesn't, for fear those 296 followers will think him one who enjoys being unspecifically over-dramatic.
A week earlier he watched from that same rolling office chair as the play of the Patriots shared an adjective with those damned towels -- terrible.
Had it been different -- had Bill Belichick's team beaten the Jets -- those towels would be drowned in the red, white and blue waters of Gillette Stadium. "Not so terrible now, are you?" a drunk or legally-blind Pats fan might've asked, talking trash not to Steelers fans but to those yellow rags.
Had it been different, Mark Sanchez might've been too sad to wipe snots on Mark Brunell's jacket.
Had it been different, Rashard Mendenhall would've found something wrong with a little bump 'n grind.
Had it been different, this blog would not be a reflective blog, but one mocking the magical intimidation powers of those Heinz mustard-colored rags. Oh yes, the towels would be mocked, most certainly with the use of a South Park clip. This South Park clip.
But it wasn't different, not by a long shot; it was what it was. And so the towels are out of WGS' jurisdiction for another year -- maybe more . . . or are they?