Throwing stuff on the ice: Ideas for unhappy Bruins fans


Throwing stuff on the ice: Ideas for unhappy Bruins fans

By Mary Paoletti

Have you heard? Leafs fans are throwing waffles onto the ice at the Air Canada Centre!

This is not a good thing.

No, as warm and delicious as waffles may be, having them hurled at your head is not as friendly a sign of affection as one might think. The following explanation comes from The Puck Doctors:

The Toronto Sun has identified a man, known as Jack M., as the culprit. Nicknamed the "Waffle Man," Jack vows to strike again if the Leafs continue to struggle on the ice.There were a few seconds left in another obviously lost Leafs game when the 27-year-old construction worker pulled out the soggy waffles he had stashed under his jersey and chucked them onto the ice of the Air Canada Centre on Thursday."They need to wake up and eat some breakfast," Jack, who asked not to be identified, said in a Saturday interview, hours ahead of the Leafs meeting with Montreal. "Im just trying to help them out with a balanced diet."The "diehard Leafs fan" said he didnt throw the waffles out of disrespect to the players, explaining, "I love them, but somebodys got to say something."

What better way to say, "Wake up!" to a professional athlete than to throw a box of Eggos at a him? My first thought was that the waffles were a symbol for the Leafs being deliberately ambiguous in their play. Wrong. My other thought went back to when Detroit Red Wings fans threw octopi on the ice in the 1952 playoffs to sympolize the number of playoff wins standing between the team and the Stanley Cup. Maybe the 41 or so little waffle cells (syrup traps) represent Toronto's projected losses for the season. Wrong again. Shows how creative I am.

This whole thing got me thinking, though. What would Bruins fans throw on the ice right now? Boston is 3-5 in in its last 8 games. The B's last outing produced a 3-0 shutout -- by the other team -- and many disgrunted Bruins fans. So what would these people throw if so inspired? Here are a few ideas.

This might anger DHS workers somehow... something about graphically violent images that would confuse younger fans... whatever... but it could make a strong point. You guys are babies. See? Here are a bunch of them raining down on your head to illustrate the point. If fans could find dolls named Sally that pee when pressed it would be an even stronger statement. FULL BEER CUPS I'm kidding! Clearly, kidding. How crazy do you think I am?

This is a very 'Boston' choice. The Hub's sports fans love brawling, whether during a win over the Yankees or a loss to the Canadiens. Beyond all the blue collar psychology of it there's the simple fact that Boston is great at drinking beer and beer can bring out the nasty in a person. How satisfying would, instead of just punching that annoying Canadiens fan, picking up the guy and tossing him onto the ice? Not sure about what message it would send to the Bruins but it would probably relieve some angst.

As long as people are getting thrown, Favre is an easy choice. The message here is simple: Nobody likes Favre but if he injures one of you guys when hurled down there then we wouldn't be that mad. And that's a problem.
I'm not sure how easy or difficult animal organs are to procure but the effort would be worth it. The Bruins have been flat, completely lacking emotion or desperation. What they need is heart! Get it? I figured it would at least be easier than finding complete circulatory systems to toss.

This suggestion runs in the same vein (no pun intended) as the "good breakfast" idea. Boston must not be eating well before games. They should cabro-load. Best part of this plan is that the Bruins don't need to sweep the stuff away and trash it. They should use the shovels to feed the players. So somebody wrangle Favre (again with the puns) and start cooking... the Thrashers are in town tonight.

Stats: Jayson Tatum is pretty much Larry Bird

Stats: Jayson Tatum is pretty much Larry Bird

Stop comparing Jayson Tatum to Paul Pierce. Turns out he's Larry Bird. Numbers don't lie.

In posting 14 points and 10 rebounds, Tatum became the first Celtics player to notch a double-double in his NBA debut since Larry Bird in 1979. Numbers also suggest that Bird went on to be very good, so that pretty much settles it. You can't just accept the numbers that say Bird was great and ignore the numbers that say Jayson Tatum is Larry Bird. You've got to accept all the numbers. Cherry-picking certain stats for your argument is what Mike Felger does. 

Tatum, who was the apple of Danny Ainge’s eye in the draft when he traded down from the first overall pick to the third spot, finished third on the C’s in scoring in Tuesday’s loss to the Cavs. Jaylen Brown led the way with a career-high 25 points, while Kyrie Irving posted 24.

Shorthanded Celtics fall short in 102-99 loss to Cavs

Shorthanded Celtics fall short in 102-99 loss to Cavs

CLEVELAND – Adversity has been a given with the Boston Celtics, so why would the season opener be any different? 

Despite being without their prized free agent signing in the offseason for all but the first five minutes against Cleveland, the Celtics gave themselves a chance to win down the stretch only to come up short in a 102-99 loss.

Boston led in the fourth only for LeBron James to score a go-ahead basket to make it 99-98 and then force a Celtics turnover seconds later.


Following a time-out with 1:04 to play, Kevin Love hit a 3-pointer with 46.3 seconds to play to make it a 102-98 game.

The loss certainly hurts, but that pales in comparison to what losing Gordon Hayward for most if not all of this season, means to the Celtics after Hayward went down with fractured left ankle injury in the first quarter.

With the Celtics ahead 12-9, Kyrie Irving saw Hayward sprinting towards the rim and threw him an alley-oop pass.

LeBron James slid over and leaped to try and deflect it, which threw Hayward off balance in mid-air.

But Hayward didn’t land cleanly because ex-Celtic Jae Crowder, who was defending him on the play, made contact with Hayward’s lower body that resulted in an awkward landing for Hayward.

Video replays showed how contorted Hayward’s left ankle was, the kind of gruesome image that was in some ways reminiscent to the knee injury that derailed the career of Shaun Livingston.
While Livingston eventually returned to the floor and won a pair of NBA titles with the Golden State Warriors, but he was never the same player afterwards.
It’s far too soon to say exactly how Hayward’s injury will impact him this season, let alone for his career. 
But there is no mistaking seeing him go down the way he did, clearly rattled the Celtics and for that matter, the NBA family. 
Current and former NBA players took to social media offering of prayers of healing for Hayward, who was named to his first NBA All-Star team last season and signed a four-year, $127.8 million contract with the Celtics this summer. 
As for the actual game, the Cavaliers steadily pulled away in the second quarter and remained in control for most of the second half in a victory that certainly had to feel a bit shallow.
It wasn’t because the Celtics were undermanned without Hayward, but more important, because he’s part of the NBA family and regardless of how competitive players are, they never, ever like to see one of their own go down with such a devastating injury. 
Moments after Hayward went down, the looks of disappointment and pain were apparent. Inside the Celtics huddle, you saw Kyrie Irving’s head in the shoulder of a teammate.
Former Celtic Isaiah Thomas, now with the Cavs, was inside the Cavaliers locker room which is where they took Hayward initially. 
When Thomas left, he nodded, and shook his head, saddened by what he saw in the locker room. 
Despite the pain that all the Celtics were in following Hayward’s injury, there was still a game that had to be played. 
And anything less than their best against the defending Eastern Conference champions, would make for a long night. 
But the Celtics showed a resiliency in the third quarter that saw them climb back into things and made it a relatively close game. 
Trailing 54-38 at the half, Boston tied the game at 69 following a Marcus Smart free throw, followed by a go-ahead basket by Smart that put Boston on top 71-69. 
However, the Cavs ended the quarter with a 3-pointer by Derrick Rose which put them ahead 72-71 going into the fourth, an envious position for the Celtics all things considered. 
Even if the Celtics had been whole with Hayward, defeating the Cavs was going to be an extremely tall task.
They have after all, been to the NBA Finals each of the last three seasons and are the odds-on favorite to get back there for a fourth straight year. 
But the Celtics lost more than a key player when Hayward went down. 
They lost their focus, that intangible edge to their team that was supposed to be one of their strengths against a Cleveland team that has plenty of firepower and weapons of its own. 
The good news for both teams is that regardless of who came out on top, there are lessons to be learned for both teams. 
Unfortunately for the Celtics, those lessons going forward are likely to come about without Hayward in the lineup for some time.