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Top 5 Christmas sports miracles (that maymay not happen)

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Top 5 Christmas sports miracles (that maymay not happen)

By Justin Aucoin
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com

In just a few days itll be Christmas -- a time where peace is supposed to reign on Earth, good will is shown toward your fellow man and Christmas miracles become as numerous as snow flakes.

However, there are some sports-related Christmas miracles that are about as likely to happen as well as likely you getting that pony you always wanted as a kid.

5. Boston Bruins show up for a full game
Biggest complaint about the Bruins this year is that they show up for only 20 minutes a game.

Sometimes its the first period; sometimes the second; usually its the third. Who knows?

Theres no better illustration of this than Saturdays game against the Capitals and last night's game against the Ducks. After scoring three goals in the first period on Saturday, the B's punched out all except for Tim Thomas who, once again, carried the Bruins on his shoulders. He faced more shots in the third period than the Bs fired off themselves in the entire game.

B's should at least buy the guy some Icy-Hot to help soothe his aching shoulders and back. They might want to toss in a few six packs and cheeseburgers for good measure though.

Oh and, yknow, play an entire 60 minutes of hockey some day. They certainly didn't do it last night. Boston let the formerly Emilio Estevez-inspired Anaheim Ducks blank them, 3-0. Sure they put up 45 shots but maybe five of them actually made Jonas Hiller move to stop. It was definitely the easiest 45-shot shutout in recent memory (perhaps ever).
Bruins haven't scored in over 100 minutes of hockey. That's a long coffee break.
Christmas Miracle chance? Medium. B's will turn it around at some point, but expect some slips and dips into 13 effort here and there.

4. Soccer players stop diving
Were pretty sure its required of all soccer players to watch and study the finer points of soap opera acting. Its the only way to explain all the over-the-top dives and fake injuries youll see during the course of a game.

Or maybe they study online.

And as bad as youll hear Bruins fans complain about Montreal Canadiens players diving, its nothing compared to European soccer. Youll see more dives in 30 seconds of soccer than you will in the entire run of the Summer Olympic diving competition.

But in fairness, theres a chance youll see someone get kung-fud, too.

Christmas Miracle chance? Never going to happen. Save your wishes for something more likely to happen like getting a pony.
3. FSU beats UConn; ends winning streak
Last weekend UConn womens basketball team won its 88th straight game, tying UCLAs mens team record for longest winning streak. The Huskies last loss came in 2008.

We dont even remember what happened in 2008 anymore.

The one team standing in between UConn and immortality? Number 22 Florida State, who just lost to Yale (2-7) this past weekend.

Christmas Miracle chance? Best of luck with that, FSU.

2. Toronto Maple Leafs string some wins together

Sure thing, kid. You and a myriad of other waffle-throwing fellas up north.

OK sure, this one is bound to happen eventually. Right? But on a regular occurrence? Eh. Looks like the Bruins might score another sweet draft pick.

Its cool, though. At least Toronto has Phil Kessel.

Christmas Miracle chance? Medium. Leafs can be a streaky team (as they showed at the start of the season). But in the long wrong its going to be waffle town.
1. Rex Ryan stops eating snacks

Hope you brought plenty of eye bleach for that one. Its going to haunt your dreams for a while.

Christmas Miracle chance? Hahahahahahahahaha.

Have a fun and safe holiday, everyone.

Make sure to check out more fun with Photoshop from Justin and his team atDaysofYOrr.com.

Raiders' Marshawn Lynch suspended game for shoving official

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Raiders' Marshawn Lynch suspended game for shoving official

NEW YORK - Oakland running back Marshawn Lynch was suspended for one game without pay by the NFL on Friday for shoving a game official during the Raiders' victory over Kansas City on Thursday night.

Lynch was ejected from the game after he shoved line judge Julian Mapp.

The scuffle started when Oakland quarterback Derek Carr was hit late on a run by Kansas City's Marcus Peters midway through the second quarter. Raiders offensive linemen Kelechi Osemele and Donald Penn immediately confronted Peters, and Lynch sprinted onto the field from the bench to join the fray. Mapp tried to break up the fight, but Lynch pushed him and grabbed his jersey. Lynch also got a personal foul.

NFL vice president of football operations Jon Runyan wrote a letter to Lynch, saying:

"You made deliberate physical contact with one of our game officials as he was diffusing an active confrontation between players. You were disqualified for your inappropriate and unsportsmanlike actions. Your conduct included pushing the game official and grabbing his jersey. ... You were not directly involved in the active confrontation that the game official was attempting to diffuse, nor were you a participant in the play that initiated the confrontation. You were the only player from either team who ran from the sideline to midfield to insert himself into a situation in which he was not directly involved."

Lynch will be eligible to return to Oakland's active roster on Oct. 30, the day after the Raiders' game against the Buffalo Bills.

Lynch finished the game with two carries for 9 yards.

The Raiders rallied to win 31-30 on a touchdown pass by Carr on the final play, and Lynch was in the locker room after the game congratulating his teammates.

Lynch came out of retirement this season and was traded from Seattle to the Raiders. Lynch said he wanted to make a comeback so he could give something back to his hometown of Oakland before the Raiders move to Las Vegas in 2020.

Lynch has rushed for 266 yards and two touchdowns in seven games.

NBC SPORTS BOSTON SCHEDULE

Larkin provides fourth-quarter spark, Celtics beat Sixers, 102-92

Larkin provides fourth-quarter spark, Celtics beat Sixers, 102-92

PHILADELPHIA – Despite playing its second straight game without a key rotation player, the Boston Celtics did just enough to get their first win of the season, 102-92, over Philadelphia.

Boston (1-2) was led by Kyrie Irving’s game-high 21 points, but it was Shane Larkin's floor game down the stretch that truly catapulted Boston to its first win of the season.

Larkin, who was seeing action in large part because Marcus Smart was out with a left ankle injury, provided a huge spark in the fourth before finishing with 10 points and four assists.

He drained a 3-pointer that tied the game at 75-all, which was part of an 18-9 Celtics run.

The Sixers (0-2) were led by J.J. Redick and Jerryd Bayless who had 19 and 18 points, respectively. Joel Embiid got off to a slow start, but finished with a double-double of 11 points and 13 rebounds.

Boston played with a lead for most of the first half, but Philadelphia took over with a 7-0 run to end the second quarter and had the Celtics playing catch-up for all of the third and some of the fourth quarter.

Boston was once again short-handed, with Marcus Smart out with a left ankle injury. He replaced Gordon Hayward, whose left ankle injury in the first quarter of Boston’s loss to Cleveland on Tuesday, is expected to keep him sidelined for the rest of the season.

But with players out, that opens up opportunities for others to step up.

Larkin, who walked away from a contract overseas that would have paid about $5 million more than he’s making with the Celtics, was one of those players.

Aron Baynes, who got the start with Smart out, had 10 points and eight rebounds. Boston also got another strong game off the bench from Terry Rozier who had 14 points and seven rebounds

NBC SPORTS BOSTON SCHEDULE