"What a player! Extension! F--k retirement!"
"What does Posey make?!"
Cubs players are having a lot of fun ribbing David Ross right now and let him have it as the media huddled around his locker after Friday's win, jokingly comparing "Grandpa Rossy" to former MVP Buster Posey.
The 39-year-old veteran catcher is set to retire at the end of the season, but he collected three more hits Friday, including a three-run homer.
"We're gonna start having to talk Theo [Epstein] into trying to grab another year out of him," said Cubs starting pitcher and Friday's winner Jason Hammel. "If he continues to do what he's doing right now, he can only help us. He can't get too old for the game."
It was the first time Ross had three hits in a game since July 2014 and his first three RBI game since September 2012.
The fifth-inning blast was also Ross' 99th career home run, so naturally the Cubs had to celebrate it.
Cubs players have been counting down to Ross' 100th career homer, holding up numbers with their fingers after each shot.
Ross hit only one homer last season in 72 games, but already has three this season in just 18 contests.
"They had to hold up  for a long time last year," Ross said. "They're rooting for me to get 100. It's all in good fun.
"One hundred home runs in 'The Show' is kinda special to me. It'd be nice to have it. But again, it's all about the W's. I think everybody understands the personal goals and all that stuff is secondary to the team."
What if he ends his career stuck on 99 home runs?
"If I don't get 100, it's not like I've had a terrible career," Ross said. "I am who I am. These guys are rooting for me to get 100 because I told them last year it was something that I would like to get a nice, even number.
"It ain't like I'm gonna go home and sulk. How about I hit 99 and we win a World Series?"
This Cubs team celebrates everything, but Grandpa Rossy hitting the century mark would be a special party.
"Party favors, fireworks," Hammel joked. "It's gonna be one heck of a celebration."
Ross was quick to remind reporters he hadn't gotten a hit in a while before Friday (he was hitless in his last 10 at-bats entering play), but still had no issue playing around when asked why he's hitting so well this year:
"Because I'm awesome," he said to laughs.
Ross also credited Joe Maddon and the Cubs coaching staff with helping to adjust his approach at the plate.
His .801 OPS would represent his best season since 2010, but Ross isn't necessarily ready to re-think retirement, brushing off notions that he should return another season at age 40.
"That's part of the reason why I'm having so much fun," he said. "I'm older and can appreciate some things. When you have a group like this and you're a part of it, when you've been around a little while and you see a special group, you should enjoy it.
"I'm trying not to take that for granted."