Bears

Random News of the Day: Blazing a trail

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Random News of the Day: Blazing a trail

Tuesday, July 6, 20101:08 PM

By Joe CollinsCSNChicago.com
Raise your hand if you've had enough of these NBA rumors.

I'm one of the people that just wants this story to end. Over the last week, we have seen the TMZ'ification of sports magnified to near unhealthy levels. Every day has involved sports paparazzi snapping photos and gathering video of NBA free agents outside restaurants, hotels, stadiums and office buildings. Every rumor contradicts the one that preceded it. The anticipation builds. The tension mounts. For a good amount of sports fans, this kind of theater is great entertainment.

But I need a break. We all do, I think. Just get it done already, you know?

People have different ways to ease their own stress and anxiety levels. For me, I head to the bike trail. You get your exercise, enjoy the scenery and boost your self-esteem a little. What's not to love?

Apparently, 10 things by my count.

I never realized the comedy that makes up a day at the jogging path or bike trail. It is loaded with people trying too hard, people relaxing too hard and people that simply got lost along the way. The trail is full of things that actually cause stress ... and not ease it. Here is a list of the top 10 characters on your neighborhood path:

1) The Swiss Army Trail Person: The comic relief of the bike trail. Since when did a walk in the park become so complicated? It's like somebody covered these guys in Krazy Glue and threw them into one of the shelves at Walgreens. Apparently, some people just cant go an hour without their iPodfanny packheadbandswristbandsleg warmersBluetoothsunglasseschrome novelty shaving kitAltoidscompact umbrellacar key ring holderchaw tinPower Bar holder ... etc. Its too much. Its not healthy.

2) The Lance Armstrong: Before I go on, I should mention that you need to check out the Tour de France on Versus ... even for a few minutes. Some of the crashes these guys endure are incredible. These bikers are fine ... as long as they stay in France. Do we really need them among all of the everyday walkers and joggers? The Lance Armstrong types have a trace of "Swiss Army Trail Person" in them as well: skin-tight spandex bike suit? Check. Livestrong bracelet? Check. Five-hundred-sixty-five dollars worth of safety gear from the mall? Check. Blitzing by you at 40 mph while ricocheting off a kid eating an ice cream cone, all-the-while shouting "ON YOUR LEFT"? You better believe thats a check. Of the hockey variety.

3) The Rollerblading Group: The rollerblading group always seems to look like they're getting filmed as part of a 1990s sitcom intro: carefree and all over the place. Lots of smiles, lots of bad skating, lots of potential accidents. Fortunately, this is where the Lance Armstrong guy comes in real handy.

4) The Marathon Trainer: I have trained for -- and completed -- three marathons in my life. Trust me, were among the most annoying people on the planet. Were the ones who do some kind of jump-rope dance at water fountains -- to maintain a jogging motion -- because we cant stop for anything. Were the ones that get furious if theres a loose pebble on the path. We hate everybody on bikes. We despise anything that moves slower than our own pace. We dont pay attention to red lights ... or flashing "don't walk" signals. Were the idiots you see jogging in a blizzardhail stormtornadoozone action dayflood. Were like that "Rudy" character ... only 23,281,293 times more annoying.

5) Johnny And Susie Chit-Chat: "Susie, I had a wonderful time with you on our first walking date. Mind if I call you again sometime? Wait ... say that again? Move where? Oh ... you mean off the bike trail? Oh, the bikers and joggers wont mind. The bike trail is big enough for everybody. They can go around us. I know we just walked three miles. Im just too lazy and ignorant to move another three feet off the asphalt and into the grass where well be more safe anyway. Were not hurting anyone. It's fine. Maybe Ill also fiddle with my cell phone while standing right in the middle of the path, too. I might even bend down to tie my shoes. Or even send a text message or two without looking up once to see if people are in my way. Let's do this again soon! Same time, same place?"

6) The Novelty Bike Crowd: Nothing says fun like trying to get out of the way of a wobbly penny farthing rider. And dont even get me started on the people that rent those "tandem" bikes like its an old Doublemint Gum commercial. If you're lucky, on a Saturday afternoon, you might come across a unicyclist juggling bowling pins, a chainsaw and a lit torch.

7) The Chalk Artisans: Look, I think its great that your friend is jamming at a club tonight with the seating capacity of seven and a 20 suggested donation at the door. Im fine with that. But Id rather not have the message chalk-scribbled on the bike path -- a message that Im going to run over in 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...1. Please move. Hand me a flyer instead. Then, when I get 20 feet away, I can throw it in the garbage can just like the other 2,000 that came before me.

8) The Family: No particular reason to add these guys ... but just add the word "family" to the end of any of the above categories. Maalox suggested.

9) The Skateboarding Gang: A pure crack-up because they can never get those jumps down pat, can they? Keep practicing the ollies, guys. Maybe on the 943rd try youll get it. And hopefully by that time youll be doing it in a TJ Maxx parking lot, where you won't be accidentally ramming skateboards into people's shins.

And finally...

10) The Stroller-Joggers: The only redeeming quality about this situation is that the kids in the seat don't fully realize the embarrassment factor. For a woman to be a stroller-jogger is one thing. But for a man, isn't that pretty much the end? I mean, you might as well buy the minivan, Pete Yorn songs, mineral water and endless supply of polo shirts that go along with it.

A happy list!

I almost want to hear more NBA rumors.

Or something like that.

Joe Collins is an assignment desk editor for Comcast SportsNet and contributor to CSNChicago.com.

With Leonard Floyd going on injured reserve, will the Bears have a pressing need at outside linebacker in 2018?

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USA TODAY

With Leonard Floyd going on injured reserve, will the Bears have a pressing need at outside linebacker in 2018?

The Bears placed Leonard Floyd on injured reserve Thursday morning, ending the second-year outside linebacker’s season following a knee injury suffered Sunday against the Detroit Lions. The Bears haven’t revealed the full extent of Floyd’s injury, but coach John Fox did confirm this week the 2016 first-round pick didn’t tear his ACL. 

That’s potentially good news for Floyd’s recovery timetable, even if he won’t return in 2017. The Bears can probably hope to have Floyd back for, at the least, training camp next year, if not possibly OTAs in six months, thought that’s more speculative than concrete. 

Still, with Floyd on injured reserve, the Bears’ current outside linebacker depth chart consists of two veterans (Pernell McPhee and Sam Acho) and two practice squad signees (Isaiah Irving and Howard Jones). These final six games of the 2017 season could serve as auditions for all four players for roles on the 2018 Bears. 

If every team needs at least three good pass rushers, the Bears can count on Akiem Hicks and Floyd for 2018, provided Floyd comes back healthy. But who’s the third?

The Bears could save about $7.5 million in cap space if they release McPhee in 2018; if they were to cut ties with Willie Young, who’s on injured reserve right now as well, it would provide $4.5 million in cap relief. McPhee will be 29 in December, while Young will turn 33 next September. 

The Bears won’t necessarily need the cap relief next year, and could certainly decide to keep both players, who’ve shown they’re still productive when healthy. But even if both players are back, the Bears may need to add another outside linebacker via free agency of the draft — remember, the team could’ve began the season with Floyd, Young, McPhee, Acho and Lamarr Houston as their outside linebackers; an injury Houston suffered in the fourth preseason game ended his time in Chicago. 

Needs at wide receiver and cornerback are pressing, but outside linebacker may need to be in that same conversation. If the Bears have a top-10 pick for the fourth consecutive year, plus some cap space, they perhaps could have the ability to address all three needs in March and April. 

That may be looking a little too far into the future, though. The best-case for the Bears is McPhee finishes the season strong and Irving and/or Jones shows something in the opportunities they receive in these final six games (Jones, for what it’s worth, had five sacks as a rookie with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2015). But the worst-case — and perhaps the most realistic — is that the Bears go into the offseason needing to fill at least one pass-rushing spot. 

The fight for which national team Bastian Schweinsteiger's kid will play for is on

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USA TODAY

The fight for which national team Bastian Schweinsteiger's kid will play for is on

Whenever a famous couple in the world of soccer has a child, there are always jokes about what national teams the kid could play for.

The latest such addition to the gossip columns is the announcement from Bastian Schweinsteiger and Ana Ivanovic that they are expecting a child.

Ivanovic, a former tennis pro who won the 2008 French Open champion, announced the news on Twitter with a sponsor-heavy photo.

Schweinsteiger, who played with the Fire this past season, also took to Twitter to share a photo and the news.

Schweinsteiger's future with the Fire remains unclear, but him and Ivanovic seemed to be happy living in Chicago, making various appearances at sporting events in the city. If he returns and the child is born in Chicago, does that mean we could one day see a Schweinsteiger repping the U.S. national team in 20-something years? Maybe the men's team won't be a national embarrassment by then, but then again, if it's a girl she'd be able to pick between the only multiple-time World Cup winning nations (U.S. and Germany).

Perhaps the child would take after Ivanovic and hit volleys with a racket instead of a foot, or maybe he or she will not take after the professional athlete parents.

In all seriousness, congratulations to both Schweinsteiger and Ivanovic.