John Walters

We take a look back at the college football week that was…

Quote of the week
“Punting is winning.” - UCLA head coach Rick Neuheisel to his new quarterback Kevin Craft, who threw four first-half picks in the Bruins’ 27-24 upset of Tennessee

Rule 9, Section 2, Article 1
A few thoughts on the Jake Locker debacle in the waning moments of BYU’s 28-27 win at Washington:

1) As with pass interference and holding, any rule attempting to deal with player misconduct or excessive celebration must—MUST—leave room for an official to exercise some discretion. That is the primary flaw with this rule.

2) So it was a 15-yard penalty. What does that have to do with the Cougars blocking the point-after try? That was simply a special teams breakdown on the Huskies’ part.

3) Is it me or is does it seem that every September a Pac-10 official blows a call that helps cost a team a game?

4) BYU has now won two of its last three games by blocking a kick on the game’s final play (you may recall the Las Vegas Bowl last December against UCLA, whom the Cougars face this week).

5) Okay, so Dave Parry, the National Coordinator of College Football Officiating, is telling us that an official is required to enforce the rule no matter the circumstances. I’ll buy that. For instance, how about when a player pushes his teammate from behind to help him get across the goal line on a quarterback keeper? (Oh, no you di’unt! Oh, yes I di-uhd!)

GO!-lden Tate
Notre Dame wide receiver Golden Tate, asked to provide the name of the play in which he caught the go-ahead 38-yard touchdown pass in the Fighting Irish’s 21-13 season-opening win against San Diego State, replied, “Go.”

I yelled the same thing at the same screen after shelling out $12 to see The Love Guru
Ohio State wide receiver Brian Hartline, following the Buckeyes’ less than inspiring 26-14 defeat of Ohio, said, “If you’re happy with that kind of performance, something is terribly wrong.”

From the “Fool Me Twice” Dept.
Would you believe that Cincinnati had the temerity to attempt a Statue of Liberty play at Oklahoma? The Sooners are a little sensitive about that gadget play (see 2007 Fiesta Bowl) and stopped the Bearcats cold.

Dowdy-Ficklen is…
A) The name of the paper supply company where Michael Scott works

B) A crime whose unspeakable heinousness has been explored in-depth on the Law & Order: SVU

C) A Swedish heptathlete

D) The name of East Carolina’s football stadium, where the Pirates upset No. 8 West Virginia, 24-3, last Saturday

Answer: Do you really need me to supply that?

Big Ten Smalls
Ray Small, Ohio State, returned a punt 69 yards for a touchdown to provide the final margin of victory in the Buckeyes’ 26-14 win. And Chubb Small of Marshall rushed for a touchdown as the Thundering Herd rode out to a short-lived 14-0 lead at Wisconsin before allowing 51 unanswered points in a 51-14 loss.

And I used to believe that Marshall’s Darius Passmore was the most aptly named player in college football
Passmore, a wide receiver, did have a team-leading seven receptions for 95 yards in Saturday’s loss. But our most aptly named player, at least thus far, must be Cal running back Jahvid Best. On his first carry in his first start for the Golden Bears, the sophomore stud raced 80 yards for a touchdown at Washington State. On his first carry of the second half Best took the handoff and ran 86 yards for a touchdown. He finished with 200 yards on only 14 carries as Cal handed Washington State its worst loss in school history, 66-3, in alumnus Paul Wulff’s home debut as head coach.

Don Yaeger is reporting that afterward he went on a bloody rampage, and he has two eyewitness strippers who will verify his account
For Texas-El Paso’s first meeting with Texas since 1933, Miner head coach Mike Price (you may recall his O’Leary-esque stay at Alabama) ran onto the field wielding a large red pick-axe and high-fiving fans in the Sun Bowl crowd. The Longhorns won 42-13.

Has anyone noticed…
…that not only does Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell lead the nation in passing after two games, but that he has yet to be sacked in 104 pass attempts?

Next great rivalry in the Sunshine State
South Florida defeated Central Florida 31-24 in overtime on Saturday night and then did the gridiron equivalent of dumping the Knights. The Tampa-based Bulls (shouldn’t they be West Florida?) are dropping UCF from the schedule and adding Miami for a five-game series that begins next Thanksgiving Day. Do you realize that the state of Florida currently has only one less FBS program than the Big East (7, to 8) and just as many schools (2) ranked in the Top 25? And by this time next week they will have more (Florida State).

Hawkeye of the Tiger
True, too much can be made of early-season lopsided scores. And Maine and Florida International are not exactly Virginia Tech and West Virginia. But Iowa must be doing something right to have won their first two games 88-3. Focused and hungry teams (e.g. Oklahoma, Miami, Penn State, Oregon, Arizona and the Hawkeyes) win early-season paycheck games big. Unfocused, or overrated teams (Ohio State, Notre Dame, Arkansas) do not. And it is not just a spigot that you can turn off or on. Be extremely wary, Buckeye fans.

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