NFL

BREAKING -- my secret to making Super Bowl picks that make you happy, win or lose

The National Football League opens Thursday night and you know what that means, right?

It means that pundits all over the country need to get their Super Bowl picks in sometime before the first game. And of course, I'm all in on that -- even though I don't consider myself much of an NFL expert. You see, I don't play fantasy football. I don't bet on NFL games and I find the Red Zone channel unfulfilling. I'd even rather play golf than watch the NFL on TV on a sunny Sunday, too. So there is that.

But I'm still as capable as any other writer in the country at picking teams out of the air. Especially because I have a system -- a tried-and-true system that I've been using for years now when it comes to picking winners in any sport.

Now keep in mind I didn't invent this system. It's been in operation for decades, I'm sure -- and was probably invented by one of the legendary greats in my business.

So let's get to it and this season, for the first time, I'm going to pull back the curtain and reveal how I arrive at my genius picks -- which very often prove to be correct. I am going to give it all up this year, my gift to the sporting public.

First off, you need to decide which team irritates you the most. Which team are you most tired of hearing about? Reading about? And which one are you most tired of watching win? It shouldn't take you long to make this decision. Just as most everybody has a favorite team, most people have a least-favorite team.

Now here comes the tricky part.

Once you discern that most disliked team or franchise (or most despised coach or player, if you prefer), go ahead and pick that team to make it to the Super Bowl. Why? Because you will be hedging your bet, in a way. Let's say, for instance, you are sick and tired of reading about, hearing about or just talking about ... the New England Patriots.

Pick the Patriots.

And that way, no matter what happens, you can't lose. If the Patriots win, you're a genius. After all, you picked them. But if they lose, you were wrong about them. WHICH SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY! You don't like them and they lost! Certainly it's worth being wrong on a silly Super Bowl pick that nobody will remember unless you pop up months from now reminding them who you picked, right?

I love this method and offer it up to the world. I've even known people who use it in real-life. A friend of mine made it a practice to make bets -- real money -- against his own family member with his friends, thinking then he'd be less disappointed either way with the outcome.

Yes, the world can be a harsh place.

So now you know the method behind my madness all these years. And oh yes, I almost forgot.

My Super Bowl picks this season? The New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks. Bet on it... if you want.