The Evster highlights some of Tim McCarver's best Tim McCarverisms

The Evster highlights some of Tim McCarver's best Tim McCarverisms

Broadcasting SUPER LEGEND Tim McCarver is retiring after this World Series, which means we only have a few more games to soak in his greatness. As of now, it is unclear who Fox will bring on as next season's color analyst. Rumor has it they're grooming John Smoltz to take over, while other reports say they're leaning towards replacing McCarver with a giant bowl of fried clams. Either way, the man has been on fire this postseason, spewing nonstop drivel along the way and inspiring me to jot down some of his most memorable quotes.

MCCARVS: Lance Berkman being out of baseball just doesn’t seem right.

You know what doesn't seem right, Tim? The fact that you make millions of dollars a year while the guy who lives in my dumpster spends his days trying to eat his own foot. And even though every morning that guy tells me I'm a "dirty, dirty dickwad," he's still way more enjoyable to listen to.

And also quite perceptive.

JOE BUCK: Tim, you've been around the game for 55 years, what do you think of the Cardinals six-foot-five, 22-year-old right-hander, Michael Wacha?

MCCARVS: [chuckling] I think what you think I think.

Oh, McCarver, we just know you so well. Why even bother to ask him questions, Joe Buck? Why even bother to ask? Don't waste McCarver's time. What do you think it's his JOB to talk to you? FIFTY-FIVE YEARS AROUND THE GAME, JOE BUCK (and only 50 of those years were spent in full squatting position). I think you know what he thinks. We all know! That he'd love to take a squat behind the plate just one more time and dangle his little fingers for Michael Wacha. Just kneeling back there, with his knees bent, and his butt hovering above the dirt, staring into Wacha's eyes, teasing him, playing a little game of cat and mouse with the third base coach, I honestly have no idea what I'm talking about right now.

Imagine someone else in a different line of work answering a question in that very same way.

"Boss, what do you think of the agenda I prepared for today's meeting?"

I think what you think I think.

"That it's a piece of shit? That I'm a horrible employee who threw it together five minutes before our meeting? That I spent all morning staring at the new secretary's Instagram instead of doing my work? That I seriously considered, like SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED, burning down this entire office building just so I could get out of this meeting? 'Cuz that's what I think you think. Is that what you think?"

JOE BUCK: Take a look at this stat, folks: John Lackey's ERA is almost two points lower in games pitched at Fenway versus games he's pitched on the road.

MCCARVS: That's one of those statistics that's very easy to understand, Joe. And I'll tell you why after this pitch.

OH MCCARVER PLEASE TELL US NOW. Please! We can't possibly wait 'til after the pitch. Throw the ball, John Lackey! THROW IT! I need to have this stat explained to me! Even though it's very easy to understand, I am an absolute moron and need to have things told to me in a very slow and concise manner by people who have been in the game for over FIFTY-FIVE YEARS. I don't know how this guy could possibly have a better ERA at home than on the road. Good God, Lackey, stop stepping off the rubber and pitch the ball! PITCH THE BALL, LACKEY!!! PITCH DA BALLLLLLLLLLL!!!! FIFTY-FIVE YEARSSSSSS!!!!

JOE BUCK: Did you know Michael Wacha actually has a milkshake named after him?

MCCARVS: I don't think I've ever heard of anyone having a milkshake named after them.

Okay. Okay. At first this seems ridiculous, it really does, everyone could name SOMEONE who has a milkshake named after them, but after thinking about it for a while, I too was unable to come up with a person. I'm sure there are many, many people who have, I just can't come up with any off the top of my head. Still, I've certainly HEARD of people having milkshakes named after them. It's not like that's too foreign of a concept to wrap my head around. And I know it's not McCarver's job to talk about milkshakes, but why couldn't he have at least continued the conversation? I'd much prefer to hear two guys talk about milkshakes than why the Cardinals aren't playing at double play depth. All McCarvs had to do was say something like, "You know, Joe, I got a milkshake yesterday and it cost me $6.75. That's crazy, right? Are we really at a point in our society where paying $6.75 for a milkshake is acceptable? Let's break it down: a milkshake gives you, what? Three scoops of ice cream? That's like $4 right there, then maybe throw in another $0.50 worth of milk, another $1 for labor -- and really, c'mon, labor? You stick the ice cream under the mixer, Joe, that's hardly labor. I'll tell you about labor, squatting down to catch Bob Gibson for nine innings, that's hard labor. Gibby once once threw a ball right at my tits, Joe, right at my tits. And it wasn't even during a game, it was at an italian joint in Milwaukee. You know what it's like to catch a Gibson fastball right between your tits, Joe? Of course you don't, your daddy spoon-fed you as a child. $6.75? I ain't paying it. And don't get me started on Rao's tomato sauce. $9 a jar? I mean, it's good stuff, don't get me wrong, but $9? C'mon, Joe. God I miss Lance Berkman."

MCCARVS: When you work a count from 0-2 to a walk, that’s … well that's ... that's a good at bat.

Thanks, McCarvs.

Here's something to think about: this is 2013, and we can watch pretty much any sporting event we want on our telephones. If we wanna listen to a game in Spanish, we click a button and boom, vamanos. If we wanna watch a movie and have if feel like laser beams are being blasted up our noses, bang, IMAX. But how is it that televisions do not have a feature that allows us to mute sports commentators? We don't need those guys talking to us for three straight hours and we certainly don't need them reading promos for My Two Dads. Can't we just listen the sounds of the game -- like we're at the ball park -- hearing the pop of the catcher's mitt, the peanut guy yelling, the chatter of the fans? It's 2013. We have websites devoted to apple sauce for crying out loud. My Two Dads was honestly the worst show ever.

MCCARVS: The thing that’s impressive about Carlos Martinez, obviously it’s his finish, but it’s his freedom of movement of the arm … unencumbered.

Okay that's complete and total nonsense. And why it obvious that his finish is impressive? And what does that even mean?!?! The thing that's truly impressive about Carlos Martinez is his hair. Not quite a Jheri curl. Not quite a fro. But totally unstoppable.

MCCARVS:  Lackey is pitching Freese away, and Freese is fouling balls off to the right.

Thank you oh wise wizard of baseball. How could we possibly tell what was going on in this game without you?

RIP Tim McCarver.

RIP Lou Reed.

RIP reasonably-priced milkshakes.

If you want more McCarver, buy his CD, "Tim McCarver Sings Selections from the Great American Songbook" here. Or you want more Evster, follow him on Twitter @TVMWW. Or if you want to see a picture of a squirrel wearing a Cardinals helmet, click here. That's prolly the better move anyway. 

NBC Sports Philadelphia Internship - Advertising/Sales

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NBC Sports Philadelphia Internship - Advertising/Sales

Position Title: Intern
Department: Advertising/Sales
Company: NBC Sports Philadelphia
# of hours / week: 10 – 20 hours

Deadline: November 20

Basic Function

This position will work closely with the Vice President of Sales in generating revenue through commercial advertisements and sponsorship sales. The intern will gain first-hand sales experience through working with Sales Assistants and AEs on pitches, sales-calls and recapping material.

Duties and Responsibilities

• Assist Account Executive on preparation of Sales Presentations
• Cultivate new account leads for local sales
• Track sponsorships in specified programs
• Assist as point of contact with sponsors on game night set up and pre-game hospitality elements.
• Assist with collection of all proof of performance materials.
• Perform Competitive Network Analysis
• Update Customer database
• Other various projects as assigned

Requirements

1. Good oral and written communication skills.
2. Knowledge of sports.
3. Ability to work non-traditional hours, weekends & holidays
4. Ability to work in a fast-paced, high-pressure environment
5. Must be 19 years of age or older
6. Must be a student in pursuit of an Associate, Bachelor, Master or Juris Doctor degree
7. Must have unrestricted authorization to work in the US
8. Must have sophomore standing or above
9. Must have a 3.0 GPA

Interested students should apply here and specify they're interested in the ad/sales internship.

About NBC internships

Best of NBA: Pelicans hold off late Lakers rally for 1st win

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Best of NBA: Pelicans hold off late Lakers rally for 1st win

LOS ANGELES -- Anthony Davis scored 27 points, DeMarcus Cousins had 20 and the New Orleans Pelicans withstood a furious rally to beat the Los Angeles Lakers 119-112 on Sunday night for their first victory of the season.

The Pelicans led by 22 points in the second quarter and were still up by double figures heading into the final period, but the Lakers made a charge despite a poor shooting night from rookie Lonzo Ball.

Reserve Jordan Clarkson had 24 points for the Lakers, but Ball shot just 3 for 13 for eight points. He did have 13 assists and eight rebounds.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope started and scored 20 points in his first appearance for the Lakers. Rookie Kyle Kuzma also had 20.

E'Twaun Moore, who went 0 for 5 in his last game, added 19 points for the Pelicans (1-2), while Jrue Holiday and Ian Clark each had 14 (see full recap).

Wiggins' heave banks in, leads Timberwolves past Thunder
OKLAHOMA CITY -- Andrew Wiggins' 3-pointer from a few steps inside halfcourt banked in as time expired to give the Minnesota Timberwolves a 115-113 victory over the Oklahoma City Thunder on Sunday night.

Oklahoma City's Carmelo Anthony had hit a 3-pointer with 5.1 seconds left to give the Thunder the lead before the Timberwolves inbounded to Wiggins, who rushed up the court and got free with help from a crushing pick by Karl-Anthony Towns before pulling up for the winner.

Wiggins scored 27 points and Towns had 27 points and 12 rebounds for Minnesota (2-1).

Russell Westbrook scored 15 of his 31 points in the fourth quarter for the Thunder, who were coming off a loss at Utah on Saturday night. Anthony scored 23 points and Paul George scored 14 points on 6-for-20 shooting. Steven Adams had 17 points and 13 rebounds for the Thunder (see full recap).

Allen Crabbe scored 20 points, Nets beat Hawks
NEW YORK -- Allen Crabbe scored 20 points, DeMarre Carroll had 17 and the Brooklyn Nets beat the Atlanta Hawks 116-104 on Sunday.

Caris LeVert and D'Angelo Russell each had 16 points to help the Nets improve to 2-1 with their second straight victory.

Marco Belinelli had 19 points for Atlanta. The Hawks have lost two in a row to drop to 1-2.

Atlanta point guard Dennis Schroeder went down with an apparent ankle injury with 3:37 left and had to be helped off the court.

Brooklyn found a way to win once again without Jeremy Lin, who was lost for the season on opening night with a knee injury, holding off the Hawks after leading by 16 points late in the third (see full recap).