The700Level

Gabe Kapler is not a Philly Guy

Gabe Kapler is not a Philly Guy

You just knew the Phillies weren’t going to going to hire a manager with any experience, authority, or independence. The arrogant Matt Klentak would never allow it. Know how we know that? Klentak was way too insecure to interview the recently-fired, World Series-winning manager of the Yankees, and he only briefly interviewed the recently-fired, World Series-winning manager of the Red Sox.

But Gabe Kapler? Please. Who is this guy? He’s never managed before. He played for seven teams, but none of them were the Phillies. He’s not from here, and let’s face it: he’s very much Not a Philly Guy. Have you seen those muscle photos of him? Does he look to you like a guy who’s ever eaten a cheesesteak in his life?

If a guy doesn’t look like a plausible Wing Bowl contender, I don’t trust him to run my team.

Even worse? Kapler believes in that analytics nonsense. And he used to write a blog, where he talked about fitness, lifestyle tips, and some really disgusting uses of coconut oil. I really think that last thing is what’s going to sink Kapler’s chances to win over this team. Because if there’s anything I know about baseball locker rooms, it’s that they have no tolerance for vulgarity.

And besides, we already tried hiring a guy in this town who cared a lot about nutrition. Remind me again how it all turned out for Chip Kelly? If Kapler gets rid of Taco Tuesday, I’m out.

I know what the Phillies are trying to do here. They’re trying to get one over on us. Why do you think they announced the hire just days after another Eagles win? And it’s not a coincidence that Kapler was introduced while Angelo was in the hospital. They stole that trick from the time the Eagles fired Joe Banner.

Sure, there’s always a chance Kapler’s muscles will scare Odubel Herrera into stopping the bat flips and baserunning gaffes. But what if they don’t?

Look at all the ex-Phillies out there who could have made good managers: Larry Bowa. Mike Schmidt. Juan Samuel. Lenny Dykstra. Mitch Williams. Who’s done more for the Phillies organization -- Gabe Kapler, or Pete Rose? Not even a close call if you ask me.

Other Philly Sports Takes:

- As for the Sixers? Even if they have a .500 record, Embiid is healthy and people are actually going to games, sorry, I’m still not sold. Markelle Fultz is obviously missing this whole season and probably next, and I’m still not over the Sam Hinkie nonsense. After all, when was the last time a team, in any sport, tanked their way to a championship?

And no, the Astros don’t count -- they only won because they fired Ed Wade.

- The Eagles are 7-1. I have no complaints. But even so: Sunday against Denver is a must-win.

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Joel Embiid swatted Donovan Mitchell, drew a tech, and ignited a Philly explosion

Joel Embiid swatted Donovan Mitchell, drew a tech, and ignited a Philly explosion

We didn't even know if Joel Embiid was going to play just hours before tonight's contest as he was listed as a game-time decision with knee soreness.

Play he did. And he treated the Wells Fargo Center crowd to one of the more energetic moments of the evening. 

The Sixers beat the Jazz in South Philly on Monday night, 107-86, to bounce back from that tough loss on Saturday (see observations).

Embiid was a big part of that. He finished with 15 points, 11 boards, three assists and a couple of blocks.

It was one block on Donovan Mitchell in particular that had The Center going bonkers.

Watch:

The block, the stare down, the technical foul signal, the crowd pumping ... Embiid provided a perfect moment.

"It was some good theater and the two embraced afterwards. It was fun to watch," Marc Zumoff said after the game.

Mitchell wrote it off as a rookie mistake.

"Just gotta keep my head," Mitchell said. "It's a learning experience, especially in that situation when we're making a comeback."

Whether they were making a comeback or not is debatable. 

"I shouldn't have done it. I should have just let it go."

Brett Brown was OK with the play.

"I'm always mindful of how do we stay disciplined," Brown said. "Jo understands it's risky if you taunt. I want my guys playing with an edge. I want them to feel some level of swagger and feel good about themselves. That was a big play. It certainly got the crowd involved."

As for his part in the incident, Embiid admitted he may have embellished just a bit. The big guy is not that easy to move.

"I flopped and he got a technical for it," Embiid said. "That's basically how it happened. It's all fun. After the game, we shook hands."

Processing Sixers' tasty new concession food … the meat pie

christina-betz-meat-pie.jpg
Christina Betz | NBC Sports Philadelphia

Processing Sixers' tasty new concession food … the meat pie

The Sixers on Wednesday sent over a box of Four’N Twenty Australian beef pies to promote The Center's newest concession food. The meat pies are in homage to future Hall of Famer, Ben Simmons, who hails from the Land Down Under and was the driving force for helping the team sign its first international sponsor.

These magnificent meat pies will be available at home games beginning Wednesday. 

Naturally, I was intrigued to try the foreign (and free) food. A little research on the brand gave me the advice to "tuck in to a classic," which I gladly agreed to.

The packaging recommended an oven, but without access to one at work, and hunger too great to wait for the toaster oven, I went straight for the four and a half minutes in the microwave.

Three and half minutes later (our microwave is one of the industrial super-strong ones), I had this waiting for me:

Armed with just a plastic fork and knife, I decided to dive in and give "THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN TASTE" a try.

First impression?

The pastry was way crispier than I thought was achievable from a microwave. Like this was some "bake in the oven at 350 for 10 minutes" crispiness. I was having some serious issues cutting through with my plastic knife.

Once I managed to split it open, I was rewarded with a steaming pastry filled with a dark brown meat stuffing.

After that initial cut, things took a little turn for the worse.

I was forced to use my hands to break and eat the rest of it following several unsuccessful attempts to cut bite-sized pieces with the tools I had.

The pie was … really tasty. The meat filling was just a delicious ground beef mixture, with no weird spices or flavors, and the pastry was perfectly flaky and crispy. I could definitely see myself wanting this again when I’m craving a comfort food or want to eat a classier hamburger.

My main issue with the meat pie lies within the actual feasibility of eating it during a game. I had some serious struggles while I was sitting at a desk, with a plate and at least semi-useful utensils. I can’t really imagine eating a pie in a stadium seat between two rabid Processors.

My top-5 Australian exports
1. Ben Simmons
2. Hugh Jackman
3. Nicole Kidman
4. Walkabouts
5. Boxed Wine
.
.
.
10. Brett Brown's accent
11. Meat pies

Final thought: This meat pie is a really solid, albeit, strange new food for a sporting event. I can only really see its success playing out in two ways: A lot of greasy, meaty high fives or a messier version of the Flyers' bracelet debacle if the Sixers drop another game in which they led by 24 points.