Jerry Jones, the NFL's most outspoken troll, just wants to watch the world burn.
After weeks of talk and escalation, the Cowboys' owner is ready to go to war with Roger Goodell and the league's other owners over Ezekiel Elliott's suspension.
According to an ESPN report, Jones threatened the commissioner on a conference call after Elliott's suspension was announced, saying, "I'm gonna come after you with everything I have. If you think (Patriots owner) Bob Kraft came after you hard, Bob Kraft is a p---y compared to what I'm going to do."
For weeks now, Jones has tried to disrupt talks of a contract extension for Goodell, promoted objectively bad pizza in the name of football, and landed himself in hot water with the other owners. So much so that there has reportedly been talk about removing Jones as the Cowboys' owner.
It's hard to pick a side here. Jones — the long-lost twin of Emperor Palpatine — and Goodell — a man with rulings more inconsistent than Pete Morelli. You don't really want to root for either of them, but it is fun to think about the extremely unlikely chance that Jones loses the Cowboys.
Chase Utley is back for yet another baseball season and he's more business than ever.
After re-signing with the Dodgers in February for two more years, the 39-year-old is clearly still having tons of fun playing the game … well, fun in his own way, obviously.
Andrew Toles, a 25-year-old outfielder, gave us a glimpse into Utley's mystique within the Dodgers' clubhouse. We all know how well respected No. 26 is among his teammates, both former and current. In fact, his presence and example are significant reasons why, at his age, he's still playing in Dodgers blue after being acquired in an August 2015 trade with the Phillies.
Utley, in a hilarious segment on SportsNet LA's "Backstage Dodgers," jokingly showed his trademark stoicism with the cameras around and Toles looking to chat.
"That's what you call a role model. A baseball role model," Toles said. "You've got to have those. I wake up in the morning and I'm like, 'How can I be like Chase Utley today?' Because he's that guy. I want to be that guy, too, one day."
When Utley was wearing red pinstripes, just about every youngster playing baseball in the Delaware Valley was probably saying the same thing.
Jake Arrieta is the new guy in town. The mound at the ballpark in South Philadelphia will likely be a very comfortable place for him to go to work. But what about his family up in the stands?
Arrieta's wife Brittany took to Twitter to solicit advice from Phillies fans on what her and their son Cooper will need to know about Citizens Bank Park.
Already leary of the impeding snow in Philly this week, Brittany also asked about games, traditions and food that are important at Phillies games.
Some common themes included crab fries, Graham Slam Ice Cream, cheesesteaks, hot dogs, Bull's BBQ, the Phillie Phanatic, etc. But this wouldn't be Philly without some snarky answers.
Head over to Brittany Arrieta's Twitter acount to see all of the responses and offer some of your own. I recommend a grilled sausage and onions from near Ashburn Alley and a local brew. Enjoy.