The 2013-2014 Philadelphia 76ers may only have something like six actual NBA players (says Brett Brown), but at least they have a rap group, ammirite?!? Shit this is gonna be a long season.
No, really. Apparently some of the youngsters on the Sixers roster including Michael Carter-Williams and Tony Wroten have formed a rap group they call "whop." As Thad Young explains, "They're actually not bad. They have like three legit songs."
What does "whop" stand for? "We handle our problems," apparently. I'm curious how they'll handle the Atlantic Division.
Stay in the game with the latest updates on your beloved Philadelphia sports teams! Sign up here for our All Access Daily newsletter.
Tony Wroten also made a YouTube movie about them. So there's that.
Instant Analysis:
1. This video was directed by Wroten and someone named "Tom Official."
News
2. This video introduces "Team Whop," comprised of Wroten, Michael-Carter Williams and partially-guaranteed, undrafted rookie free agents Khalif Wyatt and Vander Blue.
3. The video's YouTube summary reads as follows: "Introducing Team WHOP :Vander Blue , Khalif Wyatt , Michael Carter williams , Tony Wroten ...all of the 76ers . Step into the lives of a few young men who continue to make their dreams come true . Making it to the NBA to becoming entertainment moguls to becoming solid young leaders !! L'S ...we handle our problems"
4. The season hasn't started, three of them are rookies, it's possible only three of the four will wind up on the opening-night roster, and they're already beginning to talk about their futures as entertainment moguls.
5. They're already out of milk, which means before they can become entertainment moguls, Michael Carter-Williams is going to have to first master cereal.
6. Thad Young can't talk about this without laughing and appears to inhabit a strange space between: "I honestly think this is funny / I mean I don't get it, but they're good guys / Really the whole thing is pretty silly / Holy shit, we are going to be so bad."
7. Wroten introduces a story a little more than three minutes in with, "We was in Spain ... or Manchester ... or one of those."
8. Their patented handshake consists of two back-hand pumps and two inside-left-thigh slaps with a slight backwards lean.
9. They do own an iron and an ironing board.
10. The elevator scene at the 5:23 mark.
11. EVEN TONY WROTEN CAN'T DISCUSS KHALIF WYATT -- WHO IS IN THE GROUP OF ASPIRING ENTERTAINMENT MOGULS BUT RECEIVES THE LEAST FACE TIME IN THE VIDEO -- WITHOUT MENTIONING HOW SLOW HE IS.
12. Chubby baby in an orange hoodie at 6:40:
13. To be continued ...