BY PETER HAILEY
Monday night, John Wall was just one of many famous faces to make an appearance at Kanye West's surprise 38th birthday party at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, which was put together by West's wife, Kim Kardashian.
It was obviously incredibly nice of Kardashian to invite Wall to the extravagant bonanza, but it seems that in only having one notable DC athlete come to the celebration, she left off many other area sports figures that would've been fitting guests. Here are a few other logical people that Kardashian should've had on the list of names to invite to Kanye West's birthday party.
Paul Pierce, Wizards forward
These guys are machines when it comes to producing one-liners: Pierce's memorable "I called game!" proclamation was just one of many classic things he said during his first year as a Wizard, while West has so many popular quotes and lyrics it would take until his 39th birthday to list them all.
Kardashian's idea of having the party's guest play basketball against each other was pretty brilliant, but she erred in not including The Truth on one of the two squad's rosters. Who knows how many historically awesome declarations we missed out on while Kanye and Paul traded baskets because of her mistake? Pierce definitely should've been at the Staples Center.
Bryce Harper, Nationals outfielder
Kanye West may just be the most confident person in the world. Bryce Harper, while not quite on 'Ye's level, is also very, very confident.
These two would go together like West's wife and a device that does nothing except take selfies, but because Harper wasn't invited to the shindig, a friendship that would've lasted forever never even got a chance to blossom.
Marcin Gortat, Wizards center and Alex Ovechkin, Capitals forward
Ovi and the Polish Hammer have no relation to West, Kardashian or rap music in general, but they just seem like two guys who should absolutely be invited to every party in the history of the world, without exception. Even if this was a list of people who should've been invited to Clint Eastwood's 86th birthday, Randy Wittman's 56th or Riley Curry's third birthday, they'd be on it. Kim needs to bring them in next year.
DeSean Jackson, Redskins wide receiver
There's almost an unlimited amount of reasons why inviting Jackson was a logical move: He's from California, he's about to join Kim in the world of reality shows, and his Instagram is littered with photos of him alongside other well known rappers like Snoop Dogg and Tyga. There's no doubt that he would've been very comfortable at West's birthday blast.
Also worth considering is the fact that Yeezy's birthday is slotted perfectly during the NFL's offseason, meaning Jackson would certainly have had the time to attend had Kardashian made the call to invite him. Sure, he may have had to skip an OTA session, but that wouldn't be a big deal, right?
Max Scherzer, Nationals pitcher
Max Scherzer celebrates exciting occasions by pouring copious amounts of chocolate syrup on people's faces. Why did Kardashian go with a Larry O'Brien NBA trophy themed cake for her husband instead of allowing the Nats pitcher make West the next target of his unique tradition? That's a question without a clear answer.
Kris Humphries, Wizards forward
Just kidding. Kim inviting her ex-husband of 72 days would be as awkward as Justin Bieber winning MVP of the basketball game that took place on the Staples Center floor on Monday night. Oh wait, that apparently happened? Well still, while all the other athletes on the list deserve to be mad about not getting an invitation, Humphries probably didn't double-check his mailbox.