Jimmy Garoppolo’s new contract with the San Francisco 49ers is still warm from the photocopying, but we know this much already.
He is ridiculously underpaid.
We know this because nobody has called Jed York an idiot lately, or booked a plane to fly over Levi’s Stadium for September 9. And that alone is worth every single dime York can pay.
As Comrade Maiocco reported, Garoppolo can make $137.5 over five years, with $74 million guaranteed.
The 49er Paradigm in the post-championship era has been reduced to a simple mantra: Unless the team does well, the owner is called a dope, and when the owner is called a dope, the fan base doesn’t boo. It stays away, and with it all the commercial opportunities that being the hot item on the menu can bear. And when the 49ers are the thing, the engines can’t run hot enough to sort all the C-notes.
Plus, Jed didn’t receive control of the team from his mother to be made to look ridiculous (courtesy Jack Woltz, The Godfather). Being savaged by a monomaniacal fan base is a serious drag for any budding billionaire, and most will spend what must be spent to make that noise stop.
Garoppolo makes that noise stop, at least until further notice. I remind all of you that for every Nick Foles, who can makes parades happen, there is an Andrew Luck, who is in his second full year of scaring the Indianapolis Colts to death.
So, until further notice it is. Still, for right now, Garoppolo gives the 49ers an emotional and commercial energy it lost in the ashes of the Harbaugh Disaster, and before that in the Post-Mariucci Era. The 49ers are 192-194 since their last Super Bowl victory, and that monument to mediocrity has been achieved with bursts of superb football and equal bursts of dreadful football, as in only five of those 23 seasons have had a record within a win or loss of .500.
Thus, it’s been banquets or bottom feeding in San Francisco, and in every low moment, a York has been blamed. Garoppolo has changed that, which is why even with a sample size as small as his, he is worth every dollar and cent, Bitcoin and Groupon. He makes the 49ers worthy of your attention, and that means you’re not paying attention to Jedediah The Earnest.
Now how can he in good conscience lowball such a godsend in human form? I mean, especially now that he has watched Jeff Lurie on the parade float he thought he’d have in 2013.
And that, boys, girls and undecideds, is why Jimmy Garoppolo is underpaid no matter how much he gets. He generates business and thrills and national relevance merely by existing, and you can’t get a better gig than that.