Super Bowl

Now that Philly gets its parade, San Diego deserves our kindest thoughts

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AP

Now that Philly gets its parade, San Diego deserves our kindest thoughts

We are running out of a lot of things in this country, and now that Philadelphia gets to book a parade route for the first time in a quarter-century, we are less one “long-suffering city” story line.

And we say “city” rather than “fan base” because everyone loves a parade – except the people caught in traffic. A parade takes over an entire city, not just a single fan base, so when Eagle fans line Broad Street, they’re not kicking off any Phillies, Flyers or Sixers fans. It’s a civic event, which we learned most recently when the Warriors jousted with the city of Oakland over their parade bills.

Thus, the new city most gripped by parade-o-phobia is a city full of sports fans that has plenty more to gripe about than just no championships. It’s San Diego.

Bordertown not only hasn’t had a championship in 55 years, the one team that got it for them just moved to Los Angeles with a revolting lurch, and the league in which they won that championship hasn’t existed for 49. In short, almost all the people with memories of that championship are called Grandma or Grandpa – and no, we will forgo the “isn’t everyone called that there?” joke.

Worse still, the city has only the Padres to make its floatmaking case for it, and as a single-franchise city with an open wound just 90 miles up the road, San Diego deserves our kindest thoughts – if we are still capable of such things.

The multi-franchise city with the longest parade drought is Cincinnati, which last filled the streets in 1990 with the Reds, followed by Minnesota (1991 Twins), Washington (1992 with the football team) and Atlanta (1995 Braves), and given what Washington has provided for us all, its next parade should probably be right after the meteor hits.

Here, we’ve been over-paraded with three in San Francisco and two more in Oakland in this decade, one more than Chicago (three Blackhawks, one Cubs), so smug is not the way to play this. Philadelphia’s parade will be a perfectly Philly hot mess, made all the better by the fact that it hasn’t happened there since . . . well, two years ago as it turns out, with Villanova.

But that's the thing about a parade. They actually happen more often than you think -- but not so frequently that they should be taken for granted.

Third Brady-Belichick Super Bowl loss brings the worst in recency bias

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USATSI

Third Brady-Belichick Super Bowl loss brings the worst in recency bias

This is directed specifically at our brethren and sistren at NBC Sports Boston, especially the noted troublemakers Phil Perry and Tom Curran, who cover the New England Patriots on a daily basis.

This result proves that Bill Walsh is better than Bill Belichick. This also proves that Joe Montana is better than Tom Brady. I mean, I think that’s how Legacy Bingo works, right?

The Philadelphia Eagles won the title of Super Bowl Pinball Wizard Sunday night in a 41-33 victory over the Patriots that will be remembered mostly as a grand night for bettors over the bookies, a glorious rebirth for Nick Foles, a difficult night for the Philadelphia Police Department, and an addition to the long-running series of “Long Suffering Cities Finally Getting Theirs” that began in 2004 in Boston and moving to Chicago’s South Side, Chicago’s North Side, Cleveland, The Bay Area West and East and Houston.

What it doesn’t mean, of course, is that Belichick and Brady have been diminished by the result of Sunday’s game, except by idiot talkmongers and manure sculptors who believe that recency bias is the same as scientific method.

This game made a mockery of defensive strength and elevated the new era. They were proud NBA combatants at a time when America’s youth is turning from football to basketball as their organized amusement of choice. The Eagles won, and if you need that to mean that the Patriots lost, go ahead. Nobody’s going to be mean to you . . . as long as you stay off social media. Social media is where scum goes to multiply.

But part of the new world order is diminishing the team with fewer points and castigating it and its denizens to the seventh circle of hell, and we want you to be happy, even if that means you have to deny the past by elevating the very recent past.

So Walsh and Montana. Or Brown and Graham, or Lombardi and Starr, or Noll and Bradshaw, or take your pick. Your favorites are now supposed to be better than New England’s favorites because that’s how this nonsense works. The last team to lose is filth because we want it to mean that.

But at least this way, we can hold Curran and Phil Perry and all our pals in Boston responsible. You people did this, and you will reap the whirlwind.

In fact, let’s double down on stupid AND kneejerk and say, “This wouldn’t have happened if Jimmy Garoppolo was still there.” I mean, if that’s the game we must play to remain down with the millenials, so be it.

Besides, we also have NBC Sports Philadelphia, and they’re the best people ever. I know this. I just read the box score.

Lions WR Tate believes 49ers 'have found gold' in Garoppolo

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USATSI

Lions WR Tate believes 49ers 'have found gold' in Garoppolo

While Jimmy Garoppolo went undefeated as a starter in the 2017 season, he'll be watching the Super Bowl from home this year as his former team looks for back-to-back titles. Still, Garoppolo's name has came up leading up to the big game for multiple reasons. 

On Thursday, it was a Lions wide receiver who brought up the 49ers quarterback. 

Appearing on the Murph & Mac Show on Radio Row, Lions wide receiver Golden Tate reminisced about his days with the Seahawks and battling the Jim Harbaugh-led 49ers before bringing up the current team. 

"It sounds like the 49ers have found gold in big G over there," Tate said. Pun intended? Who's to know. 

"I'm kind of a fan. The guy shows up not knowing a lick about the playbook and goes what, 5-0? 6-0? Let's go," Tate continued enthusiastically. 

After the 49ers acquired Garoppolo from the Patriots for a second-round draft pick, the team went 5-0 with him under center. The 26-year-old threw for 1,560 yards and seven touchdowns to five interceptions. 

If the 49ers lock up Garoppolo long term, are they a destination for free agent wide receivers? 

"Yeah, yeah, once their contracts are done," Tate said. 

Tate, 29, is under contract for one more year in Detroit. He caught 92 passes for 1,003 yards and five touchdowns in 2017.