1. Kansas City (5-0)
Previous rank: 2.
Chiefs are so good they can weather an average night from Kid Wonder. Chiefs are a buzz saw.
2. L.A. Rams (5-0)
Previous rank: 1
Don’t think of this as a demotion. It’s less about the Rams than the team above them.
3. New Orleans (4-1)
Previous rank: 4
Drew Brees is so, so, so good. So, so, so classy. There’s no better ambassador for the city of New Orleans. Congratulations on an historic night.
4. New England (3-2)
Previous rank: 5
Right back on top of the AFC East, where they’ve been for decades. Notice the plural.
5. Jacksonville (3-2)
Previous rank: 3
Jags defense went heads up with Kansas City’s potent attack. Offense won. Big time.
6. Cincinnati (4-1)
Previous rank: 14
It’s time to start showing the Bengals some respect.
7. Carolina (3-1)
Previous rank: 13
Eric Reid takes a knee again. Let’s recall he is not protesting the national anthem. He is using that moment in time to call attention to injustice against minorities. Don’t lose sight of that.
8. Minnesota (2-2-1)
Previous rank: Adam Thielin’s rags to riches story is just incredible. Look it up. Read about it. Be amazed.
9. Chicago (3-1)
Previous rank: 10
Khalil Mack had zero tackles, zero sacks and zero forced fumbles on Sunday. That was the first time he didn’t eclipse the Raiders’ sun. Mostly because he and the Bears were on a bye.
10. L.A. Chargers (3-2)
Previous rank: 12
Chargers P.A. announcer refuses to call the Rams by their name when showing highlights at StubHub! Center, referring to them as “the other team in L.A.” Come on, bro. We all know you’re the other team in L.A. The one nobody bothers to go see.
11. Baltimore (3-2)
Previous rank: 9
Michael Crabtree had a nasty case of the drops. He took the blame for the Browns loss. He was right.
12. Green Bay (2-2-1)
Previous rank: 7
Aaron Rodgers can only do so much. Especially with the receiver corps in shambles.
13. Philadelphia (2-3)
Previous rank: 9
The Super Bowl hangover is real.
14. Tennessee (3-2)
Previous rank: 11
No way in holy heck Marcus Mariota can take this team to a division title.
15. Pittsburgh (2-2-1)
Previous rank: 21
Go ‘head Mike. Write a check. Get after those refs. After all the bluster in his locker room, it’s time to light a fire under somebody’s rear end.
16. Cleveland (2-2-1)
Previous rank: 25
The Browns aren’t going to blow anybody out, but they’re gonna scrap every week. Their rookie quarterback sets that tone.
17. Miami (3-2)
Previous rank: 15
The Dolphins are crashing back to Earth.
18. Denver (2-3)
Previous rank: 16
Broncos put Marquette on IR after just four games. All the extra cirriculars might be taking away from a world of talent.
19. Seattle (2-3)
Previous rank: 22
The Seahawks took the Rams to the brink, fought the bear and lost. No shame in that. Russel Wilson has that team never saying die.
20. Tampa Bay (2-2)
Previous rank: 18
The more we think about Tampa Bay’s prospects, the more that hot start seemed like a flash in the pan.
21. Washington (2-2)
Previous rank: 17
Josh Norman got benched. Bummer Jay Gruden couldn’t do that for the entire Washington football club secondary. The Washington football club really made Drew Brees’ historic night a walk in the park.
22. Houston (2-3)
Previous rank: 27
DeShaun Watson is so important to what the Texans do. He has to stop taking so many hits.
23. N.Y. Jets (2-3)
Previous rank: 29
Let’s put Sam Darnold back in the Hall of Fame. Big Apple press already has him there.
24. Detroit (2-3)
Previous rank: 26
Lions win the turnover battle, get a win. Still don’t think there’s much going on in the Motor City.
25. Buffalo (2-3)
Previous rank: 32
Sean McDermott was right in his postgame speech to the team. The Bills have guts.
26. Dallas (2-3)
Previous rank: 20
Jerry Jones has been patient with Jason Garrett. The head coach choosing to punt late against Houston may have pushed Jerry over the edge.
27. Atlanta (1-4)
Previous rank: 19
All those yards. All that talent. No wins to show for it.
28. Indianapolis (1-4)
Previous rank: 28
Dearest mother, Andrew Luck here sending this dispatch after a beating in Boston. We shall expect several more unless the front office can put me in a fair fight. At this point, I fear the cavalry may never come and my time on the battlefield may be spent in waste.
29. N.Y. Giants (1-3)
Previous rank: 30
Odell says (and we're paraphrasing here) he isn’t sure if Eli Manning stinks or not. We’ll clarify. He does. Big time.
30. Raiders (1-4)
Previous rank: 24
Silver and Black got blown out by the Chargers. Blown. Out. They’ve got to fix problems or this season will mushroom cloud.
31. Cardinals (1-4)
Previous rank: 32
I have to alter my punchline a smidge. Playing the 49ers these days is like landing on a free space. Even for Arizona. (I kid, I kid. Sorta)
32. 49ers (1-4)
Previous rank: 23
You lose to the Cardinals, you go straight to the bottom. Them's the rules. The Santa Clarans might stay here a while. This team is struggling mightily, with no cavalry coming. All their big injuries were season enders. They miss Ken doll quarterback so, so, so bad.