ALAMEDA – Darren Waller has long been open about his troubled past. Addiction and mental health are topics typically left in the dark, especially among public figures trying to put their best foot forward, but the Raiders tight end has no problem discussing issues with drugs and alcohol that nearly derailed his career.
Waller is more than two years clean and sober, now thriving in all aspects of life. He’s also an open book about his journey to this good place, willing to share his experience, strength and hope with the world. Reporters have chronicled his journey before, but it takes the proper search terms to find these stories.
Waller chose to yell it to a megaphone this summer. He chronicled his story to the “Hard Knocks” crew during training camp, which was broadcast to hundreds of thousands on the HBO show.
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Waller was comfortable doing that and explained why on this week's Raiders Talk podcast.
“Once I faced the music [and decided to get clean], things got a lot better and the shame and the guilt from what I’ve done in public and private just disappeared,” Waller said. “To talk about it is easier now. Before all this, 'no way. I’m not talking to anybody.' Before all this, I just wanted to be isolated from people. Now, I feel like it would be a shame if I didn’t [share my story].
“I know there’s a lot of people suffering in silence out there. I want people to know that you don’t have to do that. Once you take a hard look at the nasty stuff you’re doing to yourself, there’s good on the other side of it. I feel like it would be a shame not to talk about it. For me, once the shame disappeared, it’s easier to talk about. I’m not nervous about what people are going to think. This is my life. If I don’t appreciate my story, what am I doing?”
Waller has reason to be appreciative. He’s a primary target in this Raiders offense, with 26 receptions for 267 yards through three weeks. He’s on pace for more than 1,400, an explosive sum within real reach. That’s a dramatic shift from his previous life, when he was barely hanging on with the Baltimore Ravens through two suspensions for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. That wasn’t his rock bottom. Thinking he was going to die after taking prescription pills he believed were laced with fentanyl in Aug. 2017 was that dark chapter’s final act.
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Waller’s climb from that depth has been slow and steady and unrelenting. His football career got going again on the Ravens practice squad, and truly picked up after the Raiders signed him to their active roster late last year.
He showed flashes of talent in 2018 but has become a well-known player in what’s sure to be a breakout year. Waller could’ve kept the focus on football during this time, but chose instead to share his story with everyone.
The “Hard Knocks” feature segments touched so many, including several who have been moved and motivated by his rise.
“That has been the coolest part to me, having people reach out on Instagram or writing something saying they can relate to my story and that what I did inspired them,” Waller said. “That’s all I can ask for. You feel the best when you can help somebody else, not just gain something for yourself. When I go on the field and I’m a little tired, I think about people who look at me, or people I who don’t even know me yet that my actions could inspire. I try to take that seriously.”
[LISTEN: Raiders Talk with Darren Waller]
Waller takes the opportunity provided to him seriously, and doesn’t shy from being a role model. He doesn’t see it as a burden. He wants to maximize every moment of his life and this career, and use his platform for good.
“It’s about changing the course of things in my family, and hopefully help my community back home, because there are drugs all over the place where I grew up. Just trying to get my life together and use what I’ve learned to help other people see the light even before I did. There are people who don’t realize things until they’re 50. I realized them when I was 25, 26. I could help people before they even touch something they don’t need to be involved with. That’s what I keep in mind.”