Break the NBA: Let's add Kawhi Leonard to the Warriors

And here they go again, the Los Angeles Lakers making a super team.
 
The hyenas.
 
Sorry about that, actually. Just wanted to try it out before the professional yammerers get their hooks into it, seeing as how the “super team” concept is both so much in favor and discredited at the same time.
 
And you thought you were already sick of the topic.
 
If Leonard wants to be a Laker, as multiple reports suggest, then LeBron James would presumably begin the long slow crawl across the continent to join what would be the super team to combat the super team, and suddenly we could debate the notion of the good “super team” against the bad “super team,” and be one step closer to the hell we all deserve.
 
Although I might humbly suggest an alternative to combat the concept of the self-igniting tongue, namely this:
 
Kawhi to Golden State.
 
And not because Golden State needs more than it already has, but because it would truly do what people accuse Kevin Durant of doing – breaking the NBA. And frankly, we need more culprits because that little story line is about chased out.
 
Leonard the Warrior would be, other than creating the New Pachulia irony, the most desirable end to this particular noxious form of NBA coverage.
 
The half-assed super-team rumor mill.
 
Now we can all agree before this goes any further that Leonard wants to be a Laker, the San Antonio Spurs won’t take less than $1.30 on the dollar for him in either cash or prizes, and what he wants isn’t necessarily the same as what he gets. So this might all end up being nothing in the end, or an entirely different something (say, Leonard goes to Denver, or New York, or sits out the season just because he’s funny that way).
 
But since we’re still at the overheated speculation phase of the Leonard story, why don’t we go full bore and try to break the machine entirely? Let’s put him on the Warriors and talk endlessly about whether he is more Satan-level villainous than Durant.
 
Not because the Warriors don’t already have more than everyone else, and not because I particularly care whether they get better, or worse, or stay as they are? I’m only committed to the notion that this could make all future NBA coverage melt into a giant ingot of slag, and leave us the time needed to think of better stories than this one.
 
The additional benefit of Leonard becoming a Warrior would be that all other player move speculations, including James, would be prefaced with the catch-all phrase, “Not that it makes a damned bit of difference any more . . .” It would give rise to a new topic de tedium, namely the high-level spite signing – as in Leonard leaves Gregg Popovich to play for one of his most devoted acolytes in Steve Kerr. It would allow us to speculate whether Joe Lacob could make his annual luxury tax bill exceed the team’s Forbes valuation. It would give us permission to suggest the Warriors’ new bar of success is to go 98-0, and anything less is a sign that they really are terminally bored.
 
And it would allow someone to write the definitive “None of this happens without Zaza Pachulia’s oafish left foot” piece in The Undefeated.
 
I’m good with all of it. Let’s really see what needs to be done to actually break the NBA, because it isn’t Durant, and it won’t be James.
 
So yes, if you think Kawhi Leonard the Laker is fascinating, absolutely, go for it. But I suggest that Kawhi Leonard the Warrior is way weirder, and in keeping with the general tenor of the times, let’s go full Bizarro World and give the Warriors everybody except LeBron. Ayn Rand would definitely approve.