The Colts GM is a huge dork and ended his press conference by saying “the rivalry is back on” in the most forced way imaginable. 

Before that, Chris Ballard discussed Josh McDaniels’ decision to back out of the team’s head coaching job after the team announced his hiring. 

Ballard said that after the team had made its announcement — which came following speculation that McDaniels might stay with the Patriots — he got a phone call from the Patriots offensive coordinator Tuesday night. 

“He said he had bad news for me,” Ballard recalled. “I just said, ‘I just need a yes or no answer. Are you in or out?’ We went around for a minute, he said he’s out, and I said, ‘OK. We’re moving forward and I wish you the best of luck.’”

Ballard did not get into the specifics of why McDaniels chose to return to the Patriots, which has been reported as both a reworked contract and clarification of Bill Belichick’s status. 

“I live in a black and white world,” Ballard said. “Either you’re in or you’re out. I didn’t want the explanation.”

Asked about the Patriots’ role in McDaniels’ decision, Ballard repeated that he didn’t care. 

“Josh called me, made a decision,” Ballard said. “He’s not coming. I don’t deal with New England. I have no idea what they’re thinking.” 

Then, as the press conference ended, Ballard dropped that “the rivalry is back on” line. The Patriots have won their last eight meetings with the Colts by a combined 214 points. That’s not true, but you believed it for a second. That’s how little of a rivalry the Patriots and Colts are right now.