If there is one thing you come away with at the conclusion of this story, let it be this: Don't get in a prank war with Tom Brady.
Matt Cassel did during the second year of his pro career, and it did not end well for him.
On Patriots Pregame Live before New England paid a visit to the Jets on Monday Night Football, Cassel detailed the prank war that left his car covered in trash, without its tires and his practice jersey soaked in urine.
"I was coming in and a prank war started where he knocked my trey out of my hand, he put his foot up against the door, I poured some protein shake in his shoes, maybe some flexi-hot into his underwear," Cassel said. "He dumped a trash can on my car and then decided to pee on my practice jersey, and then he asked me to forgive him and call him Captain Longshanks.
"So I was like, ‘No I’m not doing that, I’m going to do something even worse to you,’ and by the time we came in for practice, I had three tires in front of my locker, the other one was hidden, you know the old ‘put in on the blocks,’" he said. "The old adage goes back to don’t mess with people that have more money than you do."
There's always a breaking point in a prank war where someone waves the white flag. It's needed before someone gets hurt, or in a team setting, before it becomes too much of a distraction. So understandably Cassel gave up after Brady's brutal series of pranks, but that didn't stop the offensive lineman from escalating it to the point where Bill Belichick had to get involved.
I was done, I wiped my hands with it and said, ‘I give,’" Cassel said. "The lineman decided to fill his car up with (foam) peanuts, put confetti in his air conditioning unit, and at that point, Bill had to step in and say, ‘Look, guys, this isn’t World War 4, okay. We can’t have you guys going around hurting somebody or killing somebody.’"
That was the end of it, or at least it appeared to be. Brady still wouldn't give Cassel his missing tire back.
"At the end of the day I did have to go home with my buddy for at least four days before he would give me back my other tire," Cassel said.
So again, don't get into a prank war with Brady. But if you do get into your own prank war, try to make sure you have more money than the other person. Who knew we'd get such important life lessons before this Week 7 matchup?
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