Tom Brady can post as many Instagram stories or TB Times headlines as he wants, but let's be real: he might never take a snap for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
As New Englanders lay flowers at the TB12 clinic and bemoan the loss of the GOAT, we are missing the far bigger picture: how the hell is the NFL going to play a game in 2020?
Unless you're doing Jello shots on one of Florida's execrable beaches, you've undoubtedly noticed that the world is shutting down.
The entire state of California is sheltering in place. Northern Italians can't leave their homes. New York just closed its barbershops. Panicked Bostonians are still wiping out the meat counter and paper aisle at every Costco, Market Basket, and Stop and Shop in the state.
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We're in the midst of a pandemic that's only going to worsen. Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, recently advised that we must continue maintaining our distance "for many weeks."
The history of other pandemics, like the 1918 Spanish flu that killed over 50 million worldwide, tells us that these kind of viruses come in waves, with a dip in the summer and surge in the fall.
You know what else happens in the fall? Football. We are deluding ourselves if we think a single snap will be played, even in an empty stadium, because one I-formation alone violates the guideline asking us not to congregate in groups of 10 or more.
So why, then, should we take it on faith that the NFL will escape the fate that has shuttered the rest of our pro sports? Because it's the almighty NFL and it always gets what it wants?
A certain someone with hair as orange as the Bucs logo has tried dismissing this pandemic through sheer force of will, too, and it has not gone well, especially if you're a doctor or nurse who can't sew.
Forget about filling Raymond James Stadium with Tampa's thousands of new season ticket holders. The odds of any league being allowed to sell out a ballpark, arena, stadium, gymnasium, or sandlot before 2021 feel miniscule. With such a lethal, aggressive, highly contagious virus, the mere act of sitting in the stands would end up being a death sentence for someone.
New England Patriots
Brady's not yet in any high-risk groups, but he turns 43 in August and only has so many snaps left. We know his competitive fires burn brighter than the sun, but let's see how he feels after spending a year with his family at their Idaho retreat or Costa Rican retreat or Manhattan retreat or lunar retreat or TB12 retreat.
If he doesn't play this year, he'll be attempting a comeback after a year-long layoff at age 44.
In the meantime, we shouldn't fret too much about the distressing sight of the greatest quarterback ever standing under center in west central Florida instead of 30 miles south of Boston.
We've got much bigger problems to worry about, and it's hard to imagine the NFL anytime soon being one of them.