Ranking best Red Sox nicknames for 2019 MLB Players' Weekend
In an effort to make the MLB more marketable and "hip," players will put their nicknames on their jerseys from August 23-25. For the Boston Red Sox, fans will be rooting for "Colo" and "X-Man" instead of Christian Vazquéz and Xander Bogaerts during the Sox's series in San Diego at the end of the month.
Thanks to Jared Carrabis of Barstool Sports (as well as Section 10 Podcast co-hosts Coley Mick and Steve Perrault), every Red Sox star has an awesome nickname. For example, Rick Porcello is "Ricky Raindrops," and Rafael Devers is "Raffy Big Scoops." Unfortunately, it appears the players don't appreciate those monikers as much as Red Sox Nation, as most players went with different, more basic variations.
The MLB has had a Players' Weekend for each of the past three seasons, and last year's crop of Sox nicknames was certainly stronger. "Dirty Craig," "Big Smooth," and "Slim Dunkin" were all very strong nicknames from 2018, but Craig Kimbrel and Drew Pomeranz are no longer with the team, and David Price has shifted to a much more conservative name.
Below is the comprehensive list, based completely on the subjective mind of NBC Sports Boston's favorite digital intern, of the 2019 Red Sox nicknames:
T25: "Porcello," "Hernandez," "Taylor" and "Pearce"
If you couldn't guess, these nicknames are for Rick Porcello, Darwinzon Hernandez, Josh Taylor and Steve Pearce. Just no effort. The most disappointing one of these bunch is definitely Porcello, who has so much to work with. He could've gone with "Raindrops," "Porch-Man," "Porchlights," or literally anything besides his last name. Lame.
Last year, Brock Holt was "Brock Star," which is infinitely better than "BH." Also could've gone with "Brocketship," or "Brocktober." Missed opportunity here.
Brandon Workman. Come on. This should've been such a layup. Dennis Eckersley's been calling you "The Yak Man" all year.
I guess there's a double meaning for the web of the glove and Ryan Weber's last name?
It's Brian Johnson. Not much to work with here.
People forget that his real name is Markus Lynn. His nickname is that good.
Not a big fan of "Barnesy." He went with "Barnacles" last year, which also isn't great.
T16: "JBJ," "X-Man," "Benny"
All staples for the Red Sox, all mainstream nicknames. Very solid.
Christian Vazquez's Instagram handle is @1990Colo. It's been his nickname since growing up in Puerto Rico.
Who doesn't love Dustin Pedroia?
An ode to Sandy León's first son, who was born last November. Pretty cool.
This scores a 10 on sentimental value. Last year, Price changed his number to 10 after the birth of his son, Xavier. The nickname is still a big step down from "Slim Dunkin," but that would've been pretty aggressive for Price after his recent 0-4 stretch. "X" will do just fine.
This one was too easy. There's no way Andrew Cashner remembers the last time someone called him "Andrew" on a baseball diamond.
I prefer "Ice Horse" for Chavis, but he goes by Chief Chavis on Twitter — which you should definitely check out if you're into reminders of when it's 11:11.
Update: Since the Red Sox announced these nicknames, Chavis has tweeted that he regrets not using "Ice Horse." He claims the Red Sox asked everyone for their nicknames in spring training, before "Ice Horse" was born.
Literally translates to moon shots (not really, it means "skinny"). Anyway, J.D. Martinez can use whatever nickname he wants. He's just that cool.
T7: "Nitro" and "Heater"
"Nitro" is pretty sweet for Nathan Eovaldi, who went with "Evo" last year. His cheese clocks in around 99 mph, so "nitro" definitely plays. Now get that ERA under 4.00. "Heater" also plays for Heath Hembree. Bonus points for alliteration.
Mitchy 2-Bags. Classic. Elegant. I think Moreland was the only guy to go with the Section 10 nickname.
I can't get the image of Marcus Walden on the mound wearing a red-and-white striped "Where's Waldo" shirt out of my head.
4: "El Gualo"
Literally translates to "The Gualo" from Spanish to English. My mind's in a pretzel. Maybe one day Eduardo Rodriguez will reveal the secret behind the name.
3: "The Conductor"
Chris Sale likes it because he "punches" tickets.
A nearly perfect nickname. "Carita" means "baby face," and Rafael Devers looks like he's about 14 years old. Of course, "Raffy Big Scoops" is also awesome, and it would've been great to see "Big Scoops" on the back of a baseball jersey. I might've bought that. But Rafael Devers can do no wrong.
1: "Dr. Chill"
I'm fascinated by the origin story of this name for Sam Travis. It rolls right off the tongue. "Dr. Chill" could be a superhero, a rapper, or a stoner pediatrician. Very cool, very cocky. Love it.