Jackie Murray

Chicago PD weighs in on tickle fest between Cubs and Marlins

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USA TODAY

Chicago PD weighs in on tickle fest between Cubs and Marlins

All rise! Cubs Kangaroo Court is now in session.

In today's case, plaintiff Starlin Castro suffered unsolicited tickling in the fourth inning of the May 8 Chicago Cubs vs. Miami Marlins game from defendant Kris Bryant.

A concerned fan tweeted at Chicago Police’s 14th District’s account asking if Bryant could get in trouble for the tickle offense.

Their verdict is in.

Amazing news. Kris Bryant is walking a free man with no charge for Aggravated Tickling. Which is good, cause we need you in the game tonight, Kris.

Ozzie Guillen won't stand for your slander

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USA TODAY

Ozzie Guillen won't stand for your slander

Ozzie Guillen could write 20 books full of memories from the annual Crosstown series between the Cubs and White Sox, he said, but one expletive-filled story would definitely get the nod for Chapter 1.

In the May 2007 edition of the Addison-Sox/35th Red Line showdown, Guillen called into 670 The Score to defend his sitting of A.J Pierzynski in a 6-3 loss to the Cubs to host Mike North, who was arguing in Pierzynski's favor. 

Unassuming of what Guillen had in store, North started the call by asking the manager how he was doing.

Mike North: "How ya' doin Ozzie?"
Ozzie Guillen: "Aw, shut the f___ up."

After dropping a few more choice four-letter words, North explained that Pierzynski is disappointed with being benched to which Guillen responded, “I don’t care what A.J. thinks.”

After a few more futile attempts by North to stop Guillen from making the FCC knock on his door, the then White Sox manager hangs up.

Radio sports hosts are infamous for their various hot takes — so why was Guillen listening and why did he call in? He was in the car with his kids, wanted to hear what people were saying about the series and decided his own two-cents as the team’s decision maker needed to be heard. 

Guillen relived the memory in a special Crosstown rival podcast.

“I remember my kids were with me in the car, saying ‘Please dad, don’t do it,’” Guillen said in the podcast.

Later that day, North later showed up in Guillen’s office before the game with a bag of candy as a peace offering. Guillen’s response? “Get out of my office right now.”

He defended his argument by saying he would even go to jail for “10 days or 100 years” to be able to say what he wants.

“When you work in radio or tv, you can have your own opinion, and people have to respect the opinions you have. That’s living in the United States of America.”

We’ll be here waiting for those books, Ozzie. 

Manny Machado to the...Cubs?

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USA TODAY

Manny Machado to the...Cubs?

UPDATE: FanRag Sports' Jon Heyman reported Thursday, May 17, that the Cubs "will take a look at acquiring" Orioles' shortstop Manny Machado. The Orioles, who currently sit last in the AL East with a record of 13-29, could deal Machado this summer before he hits free agency this offseason.

Maybe Manny Machado is what the Cubs need to break out of their lackluster hitting performance this season.

With the team currently sitting in fourth place of the NL Central, the bat-popping (and Albert Almora’s childhood teammate) Machado is looking like the saving pick-me-up the team could need. In 2018, he’s currently batting .346, working with a 1.054 OPS and has 45 hits just in 34 games — racking up a 1.83 WAR.

According to a report from the Chicago Sun-Times, the Cubs' front office is looking to get “aggressive,” especially in their closing window of competition this roster has left in them. How aggressive? As aggressive as president Theo Epstein and general manager Jed Hoyer want, the report says.

But is aggressively aggressive enough to pay Machado’s bill — something to the tune of an 8-year, $300 million contract?   
 
It makes sense for a Addison Russell to be the likely suitor offered in a potential trade. The 24-year-old infielder carries a reliable, flashy glove — earning regards as a Gold Glove nominee in 2016 — despite still being homerless and striking out 21 times in 31 games. Back in the offseason, manager Joe Maddon said this would be his season “to blossom.”
 
And it takes some time to immediately blossom on a new team, as Cubs have seen with Yu Darvish’s performance so far. With just recently making a six-year, $126 million commitment with the righty — in which Darvish has returned the favor with a 6.00 ERA and 31 hits in 30 innings pitched — the thought of splurging again on another expensive franchise player before the July 31 trade deadline is no guarantee.