These are dark times, there is no denying it. 

When Céline Dion wrote Near, far, wherever you are/I believe that the heart does go on, she was clearly not considering how we felt about the E! smash hit 'Very Cavallari.' For the last three years, the Bears' result on Sunday only mattered until 9/8 central, when it felt like Hermes himself flew down from Mt. Olympus to gift us mere mortals a piece of the heavens: 39-46 minutes of Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler "challenged in unexpected ways, as [they] redefine their inner-circle of friends, their marriage and the roots of happiness."

And now, reader, it is us being challenged in unexpected ways:

Good night, sweet prince. What will we use as an excuse to avoid confronting Sunday Blues now? Was there anything more emotionally fulfilling than a pristinely-timed Jay Cutler eye roll? Yes! There are *lots* of things more emotionally fulfilling than a pristinely-timed Jay Cutler eye roll. But that was our thing. He did that, for us, probably. Our eyes rolled, but our hearts warmed. And now ... just ... nothing? Only a deep, black, endless void of unfathomable emptiness remains. Am I supposed to just ... watch something else? In this economy? The audacity to even suggest such a thing boggles the mind. 

Rest In Peace, 'Very Cavallari.' But like, we're all on the same page about a reunion special, right?