For most of the afternoon, I had a hard time coming up with the appropriate cold open for this 'column' thing. This blurb has to be catchy and witty and informative but as it turns out, staying up until 3 a.m. covering a 41-25 loss the night before is not particularly conducive to any of those three. Then, like a gift from the heavens, the clouds parted (obv kidding, it's Chicago winter, clouds don't part anymore), and Oasis' 'Don't Look Back In Anger' came up on my Spotify shuffle. So here's the plan: I'm not actually going to tie this whole thing together with a cohesive joke, but instead just let Liam and Noel Gallagher do the work for me. Throw on Familiar to Millions, rewatch Eddie Jackson's 2018 interception of Aaron Rodgers, and let's have a proper weep:
VERDICT: Maybe It's A Little Heavy-Handed But Nah This Isn't An Overreaction Anymore
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Back in August, just about everyone's worst case scenario went like this: hiring a bunch of new offensive assistants was just rearranging chairs on the Titanic as the Bears bounce back and forth between arguably unplayable quarterbacks who couldn't pick up a defense that continues to regress noticeably from 2018, and in doing so Matt Nagy loses the locker room, a bunch of games, and ultimately his job. And wouldn't you know it, we got there before December! This split feels like it'll be less acrimonious than ones that have come before it, but it's coming all the same. This front office, and the coaching staff it hired, keeps saying the next idea will work – and it never does. There's just not a lot of patience for that in today's NFL, even up at Halas Hall. Running it back in 2021 would more or less confirm every socio-economic reputation the McCaskeys may or may not have among Bears fans, though I think they know that. Swapping Kevin Gilbride for Clancy Barone ain't gonna cut it this offseason.
VERDICT: I Dunno Man, I Don't See A Lot Of People Laughing. But Yes This Is An Overreaction
I get the overall point – as a fan, it's easy to be a grump and go online to be grumpy about one of your favorite player liking tweets about playing somewhere else. (Plus, Allen Robinson's a smart dude and I think he knows exactly what he's doing but that's a conversation for another time.) But even if Robinson isn't on the Bears in 2021, the cupboard's not quite as bare as you may think. Darnell Mooney's a real player, perhaps the last chapter in the bizarre greek tragedy that is Ryan Pace's Bears tenure. James Daniel and Cody Whitehair are objectively good. *Someone's* going to get a few great seasons out of David Montgomery; Cole Kmet still has potential. They're not setting any DVOA records in '21, but they've got some young talent.
VERDICT: If This Is Something You Need To Tell Yourself Right Now I Respect The Journey You're On But No This Is Wrong And Therefore An Overreaction
The whole 'Pat Mahomes Wouldn't Even Be That Good On The Bears' argument is SUCH open-faced bargaining (stage three!) that it's hard to know where to begin. If you want to say Pat Mahomes would be marginally worse in Chicago without Andy Reid and Tyreek Hill, fine, that's fair. Instead, he'd just be with Matt Nagy – who, you know, coached him – Allen Robinson, and a far superior defense. We all tell ourselves what we need to hear in order to get through the Long Night, but this ain't it.
VERDICT: I Mean I Can't Really Prove This But Kinda Feels That Way Doesn't It?
VERDICT: Not An Overreaction
VERDICT: Not An Overreaction, By All Accounts They Have Been Doing This, Keep Fighting The Good Fight Meg
VERDICT: Sooooooooooo Sally Can Waittttttttt, She Knows It's Too Late As We're Walking On Byyyyyyyy.
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