Chris Kamka goes through his Cubs version of the alphabet in a poem inspired by Ogden Nash's "A Lineup for Yesterday" from 1949.
A: Arrieta
Respected and feared
He tossed two no-hitters
And grew a large beard
B is for Billy
MLB
A sweet-swingin' lefty
Was rather soft spoken
His hittin' was hefty
C is for Catcher
Mike Barrett’s right fist
Contreras, Girardi
And others I missed
D is for Dawson
His contract was blank
He won MVP
Then went to the bank
E is for Ernie
He bled Cubbie Blue
a beautiful day
So why not play two
F is for Fergie
He could do it all
Played hockey, played hoops
Pitched into the Hall
G was for Goat
But not anymore
That nonsense of "curses"
We choose to ignore
H is for Harry
His trademark black frames
He’d yell “Holy Cow”
And mispronounce names
I is for Ivy
Along Wrigley's Walls
Responsible for
Many vanishing balls
J is for Javy
He goes by El Mago
The flashiest glove
In all of Chicago
K is for Strikeout
And also for Kerry
His 20-K game
Was quite legendary
L is for Lester
He just needs one run
He'll make 30 starts
And then start Game 1
M is for Maddon
Had plenty of luck
Used hundreds of lineups
And tried not to suck
N is November
Of 2016
One hundred eight years
They wiped the slate clean
O is for Orie
And countless others
Who'd be superstars
If we had our druthers
P is for Pappas
Was one pitch away
The ump called ball four
Which ruined Milt's day
Q for Quintana
Colombian pride
Has hurled for both
The South and North side
R is for Ryno
Out at second base
He turned double plays
With Dunston & Grace
S is for Sammy
Into the abyss
Goes dozens of baseballs
Heart tap and a kiss
T is for Tony
You know who it is
Regarding first base
No one beats The Rizz
U for Uehara
With Cubs for one year
Not many to choose from
To fill the spot here
V is for Vegas
A wonderful place
Hometown of the player
Who covers third base
W for Wrigley
And Waveland too
Also the white flag
With a W in blue
X is for X
Roman Numeral Ten
Was worn by Ron Santo
Won’t be worn again
Y is for Yu
He had a tough year
In 2019
Yu'll be glad he's here
Z is for Zobrist
A solid teammate
You'll hear his wife sing
As he walks to the plate