Frank Schwindel hasn’t forgotten. Neither have we.
And now that the Cubs’ first baseman is almost back from the injured list, he’s ready.
That means ready for you, Stephen Colbert. The Tank is rolling your way.
More specifically, Schwindel is inviting you to roll his way, to Wrigley Field, to settle the score after that so-called joke at his expense a few weeks ago on your show.
“Oh, yeah, come on out, take some BP, and then if allowed, we’ll toe the rubber and see what you got,” Schwindel said, throwing down the batting gloves in a direct, on-camera challenge to the late-night talk show host.
Your move, Colbert.
Schwindel’s not a baseball player, you said on your show after watching his 35-mph eephus pitch get hit over the fence by Kyle Higashioka at Yankee Stadium.
Except for that one.
“I didn’t appreciate that,” Schwindel said.
Now it’s your turn, Mr. LateNightFunnyman.
Wanna step outside the studio? Wanna piece of the Tank?
Frank Schwindel’s got your eephus right here, pal.
“We’ll see if you can handle that one.”
From Schwindel’s stiff upper lip to your ears, Colbert. That’s called a direct invitation. Let’s see what you got.
We know you can find the ballpark, primetime Emmy boy. We’ve seen you there. That vendor disguise a few years ago didn’t fool anyone — though it’s possible a few of us chuckled a little.
But we’re done laughing now
“Get him out here, and then we’ll see what happens,” Schwindel said.
You heard the man, Colbert.
He named the place. You name the time.
“See if he can handle the 35,” Schwindel said. “That’d be cool. That’d be a good time.”
Let’s see what you got, big comedy man. Let’s see if you’re as tough as you talk. Put your money where your late-night mouth is.
David Letterman wouldn’t back down. We know Letterman (well, sort of; we once played golf with Bobby Rahal in the ‘80s).
And you sir, are no David Letterman.
Prove us wrong.
Show up. Step in. Take your best shot.
We know Schwindel will be there.
“That’s money,” he said.