There is a cup of kindness with my name on it, so we need to make this short.
That's right, folks - it is the afternoon of New Year's Eve, just hours after falling asleep watching Manchester United and hours before popping the champagne, I have just a few moments to offer up a very streamlined version of my weekly FPL column. I may offer some analysis here or there, but some will just be names and you are going to have to trust me. It will be twelve days before the next deadline, plenty of time to explain any picks listed here that aren't elaborated on.
Week 20 was heartbreaking, I will not attempt to soften it. I thought "Hereditary" was the most unsettling story I watched this year, but it may have been eclipsed by the final twenty minutes of Tottenham v Wolves. But, hey, a few hours from now, and all the bad memories of 2018 can be wiped clean.
So let's get into it, the picks of Week 21. And a Happy New Year to you and yours...
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
So now it is time to look at the players to think about ahead of Week 4. As a reminder, there are four categories of players which I feel are worth mentioning week to week when making decisions about transfers....
1) Players to buy
2) Players to sell
3) Players to hold onto
4) Players to avoid buying
I will also include later in the section, my top choices for the captain's armband. While I will consider every player from A to Z, you will normally find the usual suspects there.
Right, so let's dive in...
*Just as a reminder, keepers should always be the last position to think about using transfers for, unless there is an urgent need. So, when you see who I have listed here, bear in mind that my keeper advice does not carry as much weight as the outfield positions.
Player to buy: Tom Heaton - Well, have to comment on this. Heaton has his gig back...finally. One shift, one clean sheet. We know he can be great in FPL, so get him when his price is at his lowest and Burnley get Huddersfield straight away.
Player to sell: Martin Dubravka - Abysmal schedule for the Magpies. Pure nightmare fuel.
Player to hold: Jordan Pickford - Another long run of minimal returns. Last time that happened, I dropped him and he was among the top scorers for the next ten rounds. Improved fixtures should mean improved returns.
Player to avoid: Ederson - No need to invest in the back for City these days.
Player to buy: Marcos Alonso - Folks have been him lately - the more that happens, the more value he carries in your squad. Nicked a bonus point in Week 20, but very excited about three home games in the next five against Southampton, Newcastle and Huddersfield. Legit opportunity for returns on both sides of the ball here.
Player to sell: Ricardo Pereira - Pereira showed his fantasy skills, collecting two good returns against Chelsea and Manchester City in the last three weeks. However, the schedule is just too difficult for me to want to hold him when there are solid options like Doherty, Digne and Alexander-Arnold available for the same price.
Player to hold: Jose Holebas - Holebas was not in the XI for Watford last time out, but Javi García made a ton of changes, so odds are the veteran was just getting rested. He is still solid value at his price, but he will likely win the "first to ten yellows" race.
Player to avoid: Brighton options - Nice cleanie in Week 20, but it'll be awhile until the next one.
Player to buy: Paul Pogba - I refuse to explain this one.
Player to sell: James Maddison - What better time to sell a player than when he misses a penalty chance for you? No attacking returns in five straight and a brutal schedule for the Foxes ahead makes this an easy call.
Player to hold: Leroy Sane - It was bound to happen sooner or later, Sane riding the bench. But hey, it was a good run of starts, and he should start another run now.
Player to avoid: David Silva - Nice to see him score on his return from injury but with de Bruyne getting consideration every time out now and rotation policy and Silva's stage of his career, I worry about him missing every third or fourth start.
Player to sell: Callum Wilson - Sticking with the same pick here from Week 20, even more alarming for Wilson is the fitness of Ryan Fraser. If Fraser isn't starting, then he isn't creating, zapping away loads of fantasy potential from the likes of Wilson.
Player to hold: Danny Ings - Despite a non-appearance in Week 20, I still think Ings is the primary goal-getter in the Southampton squad and his price makes it not-too-difficult to deal with the occasional benching.
Player to avoid: Jurgen Locadia - I am still not buying it. This smells like a Manolo Gabbiadini. Just when he may cause people no choice but to consider him, he will drop off a cliff. Too many other budget options with better track records.
TOP CAPTAIN CHOICES
1) Harry Kane
2) Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
3) Paul Pogba
4) Eden Hazard
5) Mo Salah
That's it from me this week folks. Please, bear in mind much can change between the publishing of this column and the FPL deadline on Tuesday. Remember, some injuries are not revealed until just before the deadline, and with the quick turnaround from the weekend and holiday distractions, there is less injury news to guide us than usual, so prepare for one of your substitutes perhaps getting into your XI this week. Always try to refrain from executing your transfers for as long as possible to avoid wasting it on a player who turns out to have had a problem in training. That said, if you only have just enough money for the player you are looking to bring in and that player is at risk of rising in price, then sometimes you need to take a calculated risk and hope the fantasy gods will be kind to you.
Good luck, and may your arrows be green.