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Chipper Jones does not think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone

Astros Braves Baseball

Atlanta Braves third baseman Chipper Jones cheers from the dugout after Paul Janish hit a two-RBI single during the sixth inning of a baseball game against the Houston Astros, Sunday, Aug. 5, 2012, in Atlanta. (AP Photo/Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Curtis Compton) MARIETTA DAILY OUT; GWINNETT DAILY POST OUT; LOCAL TV OUT; WXIA-TV OUT; WGCL-TV OUT


If Chipper Jones’ retirement means that we’re gonna get late night JFK conspiracy twitter rants and the like, consider me much happier about Chipper Jones’ retirement than I previously was:

What a crock of crap! Oswald killed Kennedy? Seriously? Sorry, but I’m watching JFK. It’s almost laughable what they want us to believe.

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) November 15, 2012

Anyone who has ever fired a rifle and watched the Zapruder film, will tell you the fatal headshot came from the grassy knoll. C’mon people!!

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) November 15, 2012

JFK is on REELZ. Zapruder footage is coming on soon. Check it out. Oswald is behind JFK and to the right. No way he fired the kill shot.

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) November 15, 2012

Read the Warren Commission Report. I have. It’s a crock. No way Kennedy’s head moves back and to the left, if shot from the back.

— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) November 15, 2012

The Braves pitching coach for the past few years has been Roger McDowell. How much you wanna bet that Mr. Magic Loogie and Chipper discussed this at length on team flights?

Also: why do I laugh uncontrollably when I picture Chipper Jones, sitting in front of his locker in, say, Shea Stadium in 1997, reading the Warren Commission Report? I picture Maddux walking away from him whenever Jones tries to make a point but, like, Ryan Klesko nodding his head and asking Jones to tell him more.