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Phillies Fever! Get vaccinated against it!

Garry Maddox

And I mean in a hurry! And I’m sorry, but if this is me being a Philly-hater, so be it. Defend this video at your peril, Phillies fans.

And don’t go with “it was a product of the times.” Because in 1970s Philadelphia there were more top-flight artists and producers than there were anywhere in the country, churning out some of the sweetest damn soul music every put to slick vinyl. If one of their assistants’ assistants took 15 minutes out of his day he could have put together somethin’ better than this ersatz disco nightmare.

And to be clear: if some bad glittery country song singing the praises of the Braves of that era pops up, I will trash it with equal or greater gusto. This kind of media is what separates the shameless homers from the rational among us.

If you decide to click “play,” may God have mercy on your soul.

(Found over at NotGraphs by Dayn Perry, who is probably dead now for having searched for this and, presumably, having listened it to it more than once)