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Quiet Riot: Ryan Theriot retires

San Francisco Giants Photo Day

SCOTTSDALE, AZ - MARCH 01: Ryan Theriot #5 of the San Francisco Giants poses during spring training photo day on March 1, 2012 in Scottsdale, Arizona. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

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He didn’t play in 2013, but it wasn’t for lack of interest on his part. Now he’s done, though: Chris Cotillo of MLB Daily Dish reports that Ryan Theriot is officially retired.

Theriot ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. He may be best remembered among smarty-pants internet people as the inspiration for TOOTBLAN. And while Cooperstown is not in the offing, he is a shoe-in candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

He should probably be inducted alongside Mike Fontenot, who will become eligible for the honor at the same time.