No Shaq for Celtics, no Udonis Haslem for Heat in Game 2

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Shaquille O’Neal will not be playing in Game 2 against the Heat Tuesday Night.

I know. Stunning. The big man himself limped into shootaround Tuesday and ruled himself out, according to A. Sherrod Blakely at CSN New England.

But he almost certainly will play in Game 3, Doc Rivers said Tuesday, according to a tweet from Howard Beck of the New York Times.

Rivers said Shaq had a “phenomenal” practice Monday. But not phenomenal enough to actually play.

The Heat are close to getting their own injured big man back — Udonis Haslem has been practicing with the Heat and is eager to go, but he will not play in Game 2, coach Erik Spoelstra said.

The man wants to ball though and he may suit up against the Celtics at some point, as he told the Miami Herald.

“Definitely I could be part of this series, and without being as athletic and not even having my timing, just the physical aspect that I could bring to the game would probably help us a little bit,” Haslem said Monday.

He would be a boost as the Heat could use the depth up front, but right now they need to focus on making sure Joel Anthony gets enough minutes.