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Detroit Lions 2013 calendar is the worst holiday gift ever

Santa Claus

A spectator dressed as Santa Claus watches during the second quarter of an NFL football game between the Detroit Lions and the San Diego Chargers in Detroit, Saturday, Dec. 24, 2011. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

AP

If you have a Detroit Lions fan in your life, and he’s someone you like and respect, you will certainly not want to buy him this Lions-themed 2013 calendar for Christmas. But if you have a Lions fan in your life and you really want to get under his skin, then it’s the perfect gift.

In a stunning display of holiday awfulness, the official NFL-licensed Lions calendar that is being pushed as a holiday gift somehow managed to get everything wrong. MLive.com details some of the problems with this calendar, including:

1. Titus Young is on the cover. Yes, Young, the second-year receiver who was just ordered to go home and not come back for repeated insubordination, is the person the makers of this calendar thought Lions fans would want on the cover. Not Matthew Stafford or Calvin Johnson. Titus Young. Really.

2. Open the calendar to the first month, and whose picture do you see to go along with January? Aaron Berry. The cornerback who was arrested twice during the offseason and cut by the Lions in July.

3. Other months have pictures of receiver Nate Burleson (whose future in Detroit is in doubt after a season-ending leg injury), defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch (who’s 34 years old and not playing up to his contract and looks like a potential cap casualty), and running back Jahvid Best (whose repeated concussions call into question whether he’ll ever play again). Those are definitely the guys Lions fans are going to want to be thinking about in 2013.

4. The company selling the calendar boasts that it contains information about the Lions’ “Super Bowl History and more.” One problem: The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl. Apparently the Super Bowl history section will be devoted to the Super Bowls the Lions didn’t play in (all of them) or maybe the Super Bowls that were played on the Lions’ home field. (Did you know that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit? The people who made this calendar probably didn’t.)

5. The calendar includes the 2012 schedule. Very helpful in 2013.

So if you do have a Lions fan on your Christmas shopping list, you’ll probably want to skip the team’s official 2013 calendar. Much better to get him a T-shirt commemorating the Lions’ undefeated 2008 preseason.