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Figuring Out The Favre Timetable

“If” is dead. “When” still remains. So, at Monsignor Florio’s behest, we engaged in a little Thursday afternoon dot-connecting to suss out when the inevitable Brett Favre unveiling will take place up in Minnesota.

First, head coach Brad Childress needs to be in the house. He returned from his Alaskan fishing vacation on Monday.

Second, Chilly probably would prefer to have full focus on the blessed event so he’d no doubt prefer to wait on Favre until after the July 11 wedding of his daughter, Cara. [Editor’s note: We assume she didn’t get her father’s hair.]

Next, the Vikings want to be able to get maximum bang at the box office out of any Favre announcement so they’d want to present him after they begin selling single-game tickets for the season.

We (read: Florio) [editor’s note: douche] were under the impression those tickets were scheduled to go on sale July 9. In reality, the Vikings today told us they go on sale July 20.

So block off the week of July 13 through 17 as the best guess for when Favre gets announced. And plan on wearing something nice.