1. Cardinals (8-1, last week No. 3): “MaYbE tHEy DoN’t nEed kYLeR MuRrAY.”
2. Buccaneers (6-2, No. 7): The Bucs had perhaps the best bye week ever, with plenty of contenders losing.
3. Titans (7-2, No. 8): There aren’t many obvious losses left on the schedule.
4. Rams (7-2, No. 2): They went all in like Teddy KGB. And, like Teddy KGB, they lost.
5. Packers (7-2, No. 1): Thanks to their quarterback the Packers could end up being immunized from having a playoff bye.
6. Cowboys (6-2, No. 5): Someone forgot to tell the Cowboys that the Broncos continue to be an actual NFL team.
7. Ravens (6-2, No. 9): Lamar Jackson once again proves how valuable he is to the Ravens, and to the NFL.
8. Bills (5-3, No. 4): Not long ago, they were dominant. Now, they’re in real danger of losing the division to the Patriots.
9. Saints (5-3, No. 6): More Mr. Hyde, less Dr. Jekyll.
10. Patriots (5-4, No. 13): This is the one team no one in the AFC will want to see in the postseason.
11. Steelers (5-3, No. 12): Their Tin Man of a quarterback is finding just enough oil in the bottom of the can.
12. Chargers (5-3, No. 14): They desperately needed a win in Philly, and they definitely need to find a way to keep winning.
13. Raiders (5-3, No. 10): Who gets the blame for the 2020 draft debacle? The coach who ran the show but who’s gone, or the G.M. who runs the show now and is still there?
14. Chiefs (5-4, No. 15): The Chiefs are still searching in vain for the gas pedal. But they may have enough to coast their way to a division title.
15. Browns (5-4, No. 16): They should have gotten rid of OBJ in the offseason.
16. Bengals (5-4, No. 11): The worst thing they could have done was come to the conclusion that they’re pretty good.
17. Colts (4-5, No. 20): If Frank Reich can continue to get Carson Wentz to not play like Carson Wentz, Frank Reich could take the Colts to the playoffs, after all.
18. Falcons (4-4, No. 22): 24-6 >> 28-3.
19. Seahawks (3-5, No. 19): Russell’s return and Odell’s potential arrival could make things very, very interesting in Seattle.
20. Broncos (5-4, No. 24): Jeff Bezos could be changing his mind about not being interested in buying the team.
21. Vikings (3-5, No. 17): Purple Purgatory is a very real place.
22. Panthers (4-5, No. 18): They’ll get ‘em next year, when the quarterback is Jimmy Garoppolo or Andy Dalton or Daniel Jones.
23. 49ers (3-5, No. 21): The Faithful are gradually losing their religion.
24. Giants (3-6, No. 27): They’ll win just enough games to justify making no major changes.
25. Bears (3-6, No. 25): Justin Fields is starting to look like the real deal.
26. Jaguars (2-6, No. 29): Teams get better or worse. The Jaguars couldn’t have gotten much worse, and they’re now definitely better.
27. Eagles (3-6, No. 23): This team has had way too many moral victories in 2021.
28. Jets (2-6, No. 26): The Mike White era is over. There was one?
29. Washington (2-6, No. 28): Well, we don’t have to worry about the team doing so well that it won’t be able to dump the WFT placeholder name.
30. Dolphins (2-7, No. 30): Tua was our quarterback.
31. Texans (1-8, No. 31): Why would anyone in Houston attend or even watch a Texans game?
32. Lions (0-8, No. 32): Is it too late to flex them out of this year’s Thanksgiving tripleheader?