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Kyle Wellwood can only laugh at fat jokes as ‘one of the lightest people in hockey’


James O’Brien

The beauty of Internet-based mockery is that no one can know (with absolute certainty) if the author is being hypocritical when he or she makes fun of someone or something.

That’s the inherent sub-humor that comes with the near-seasonal wave of Kyle Wellwood fat jokes. Whenever the semi-decent center finds himself in transaction news, a new (or re-heated) batch of fat jokes is unleashed on Twitter and blogs like a warm tray of brownies. These jokes flow from all corners, even if the odds are pretty high that Wellwood is in far better shape than the people dropping those one-liners.

As with many jokes, the Wellwood fat barbs are rooted in some bits of truth, even if the situation was exaggerated. The forward went into the 2008-09 season admittedly out of shape, explaining that three groin surgeries and a broken leg fouled up his off-season routine that summer.

Wellwood explains that those weight issues are behind him, as he clocks in at a respectable 180 lbs now.

“When I came to Vancouver, I came off waivers from Toronto and I had three groin surgeries and I had a broken leg over the summer,” he said. “When I got to camp, I wasn’t in good enough shape or like the rest of the guys.

“That was something I fixed and now I’ve been in great shape,” Wellwood continued. “I’ve been under 180 pounds so it’s kind of a running joke — you still get the fat jokes when you’re one of the lightest people in hockey. You just laugh and shake your head.”

It’s a good thing that Wellwood can laugh about the jokes because much like jokes regarding Chris Chelios’s age or Dan Cloutier being “beaten” by PhotoShop beach balls, fat jokes are likely to follow Wellwood for the rest of his career.

Unless, of course, he makes a blunder that shifts the comedy to something else.