Dolphins turned Eagles' defense into bumbling fools

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MIAMI —  It’s hard to imagine a more embarrassing way to lose than getting lit up by one of the worst offenses in the NFL.

It can't happen. It did happen.

The Dolphins and their 37-year-old journeyman quarterback scored their most points in four years, piled up more than 400 yards, scored touchdowns on five straight drives and basically made the Eagles’ defense look like a bunch of bumbling fools.

After four straight decent games, four straight holding an opponent to 17 or fewer points, the Eagles’ defense collapsed Sunday, allowing a 2-9 Dolphins team averaging 14.2 points per game on offense to nearly triple that in a 37-31 win at Hard Rock Stadium (see observations).

Pathetic. Embarrassing. Horrifying. Inexcusable.

Pick your adjective.

The Eagles led 28-14 early in the third quarter. And lost 37-31.

Take a look at the Dolphins’ drive chart after their first three drives netted six yards and no points.

And keep in mind this is a team that had scored 18 touchdowns all year before Sunday:

6 plays, 84 yards, TD
13 plays, 75 yards, TD
6 plays, 75 yards, TD
6 plays, 61 yards, TD
9 plays, 96 yards, TD
13 plays, 55 yards, FG

The worst offense in the NFL scored on six straight drives against the Eagles.

The Dolphins had 10 touchdown drives of at least 60 yards all year.

They had five in a row Sunday.

Mind-boggling.

“It’s just disappointing,” Rodney McLeod said. “It’s frustrating. You let a game like this get away from you. You’ve got to show up each and every Sunday, regardless of a team’s record. We came out, energy, had an interception first play, and I think we played a solid first half of ball. But second half, we came out and just let our guard slip a little bit.”

 A little bit?

The Eagles went up 10-0 and thought they had the game won.

It was clear to anyone watching.

“Man, they just made some heck-of-a plays,” Brandon Graham said. “They won the game, man. That’s all I can really say. We gave them some penalties in there that extended some drives on defense, they made some big plays on us that we need to eliminate, too. We started off hot, we just didn’t finish the way we wanted to. That’s what sucked the most. We let another one slip. “

Everything went according to plan for those first three series. The defense got a turnover and some sacks, great pressure, solid coverage.

And then it all went wrong.

Ryan Fitzpatrick, who torched the Eagles as a Buccaneer last year, did it again, chucking jump ball after jump ball to DeVante Parker. 

The Eagles couldn’t stop it. 

The Dolphins average 265 yards per game. They had 409.

They had scored just 51 second-half points all year. They scored 23.

They hadn’t scored more than 35 points since 2015. They scored 37.

Parker was averaging 63 receiving yards per game. He had 159.

Defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz doesn’t talk after games. 

But there’s not much anybody can say about an absolutely brutal effort against a historically awful offense.

This is as bad as it gets.

“Have to stick together,” Nate Gerry said. “It is tough. Obviously, we took three L’s in a row. This upcoming week we’re going to find out what type of team we really are, we’re going to find out what type of players we are. Who wants to turn this thing around and who doesn’t.”

Even if every single one wants to turn it around, they just might not be good enough to do it.

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