You don't see anybody clamoring for them to put lipstick on Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. Or a pair of Air Jordans on Michelangelo's David.
Some masterpieces are works of art that should live on forever as great artists intended.
That's how many in Philadelphia seem to feel about the Phillie Phanatic this afternoon following Jim Salisbury's report that our beloved green mascot will undergo some cosmetic and likely physical changes that will debut this Sunday down in Clearwater when the Phils play the Pirates.
It's worth noting: da Vinci and Michelangelo aren't currently embattled in any legal issues that we know of at the moment. Because they're dead.
That said, people are worried about this "new-look" Phanatic will mean for their well being. A sampling:
There’s only so much I can take right now. https://t.co/YXHydsRC92— Maggie Daytona, regular human (@maggieserota) February 21, 2020
Ok but I’m not gonna adjust my tattoo https://t.co/GzAPGr0o8z— Christine Nangle (@nanglish) February 21, 2020
No franchise in the history of civilization has been more consistently disappointing than the Philadelphia Phillies.— Max Lederman (@Max_Lederman) February 21, 2020
LEAVE THE PHANATIC ALONE YOU MONSTERS. https://t.co/ZwmqENF7ex
New Phanatic is wild pic.twitter.com/gra1tXEKJ2— Titus Anjawnicus (@jimadair3) February 21, 2020
Exclusive sneak preview of the new-look Phillie Phanatic. pic.twitter.com/7vO5SvECw1— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) February 21, 2020
not a fan of the new Kensington Phanatic pic.twitter.com/VYm2UBmMJQ— Enrico (@The700Level) February 21, 2020
My singular hope is that they come up with a gruesome death backstory for the old Phanatic and it involves Gritty somehow https://t.co/OoRAgQ9SEJ— Levi Weaver (@ThreeTwoEephus) February 21, 2020
I hope the Phanatic’s “new look” is that he can pitch the 8th inning— Franzke & LA (@FranzkeLA) February 21, 2020
After this winter's discourse, I'll say that when the Phillies lose the Phanatic and JT Realmuto, I'll just unplug from this idiotic sport that loves to suck.— @justin_klugh (@justin_klugh) February 21, 2020
The Phanatic, much like sharks, was an example of evolutionary perfection. Meddling with the Phanatic is an unnecessary display of hubris. We are not God! https://t.co/ZZzc6NL1qI— Jamie Lawson (@shelbymustang) February 21, 2020
Fans of the big green fella from the Galapagos will have to wait until Sunday to see if their freakouts were unwarranted or if they're going to have to find a new mascot to idolize. It's going to be a long weekend for them.